


Into the Void

by elizabethdell



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Isolation, Love, Mystery, Slow Build, Survival, i don't like tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-09-02 20:31:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16794205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizabethdell/pseuds/elizabethdell
Summary: Things have changed, and Alex isn’t sure what to make of her new life. It doesn’t help that when Kara convinces Alex to meet Nia Nal’s older sister for what is definitely-not-a-date, the evening is an unmitigated disaster. But the two are stuck together whether they like it or not, and it’s going to take every single person pulling together just to stay alive…Posting new chapters every Wednesday





	1. Alex

“Come on! It will be fun. At worst it’s something normal we can do.”

Bad pitch, Alex thinks. She has no desire to feel ‘normal’ right now. No. Better to remember and impress upon herself how not normal this is. The scariest thing to imagine is that one day it will feel normal. Best to make the current reality last, to delay the inevitable.

“Kara, don’t take this personally, but I do not trust your taste in women.” Sarcasm. An easy way to deflect the truth. With the added benefit of being not a lie.

Kara sticks her tongue out at Alex. “I’d make a fabulous gay lady.”

“You’d be dating Lena Luthor,” Alex retorts.

“And what’s wrong with that? She’s smart, accomplished…”

“Morally ambiguous and untrustworthy,” Alex finishes.

“Not fair. She’s a big part of the reason we’re still alive today.”

“Just because I think she’s smart and does the occasional helpful action doesn’t mean I trust her.”

“Hrmp. I still think you should give this a shot. Both Nia and I will be there. It’s not even like a date, just two pairs of sisters hanging out. And Nia’s super cool and I bet her sister is too. Pleeeeease!”

“Oh, I hate it when you beg,” Alex groans.

“I know.”

“Fine! But you have to swear it’s not a date.”

“It’s not a date,” Kara repeats. “Just gals pal’in’ around.”

“Don’t say that.”

Kara smirks in that way where she knows she’s won. The door closes silently as she exits, only a hiss of air as the control room re-pressurizes. Yeah. This is totally supposed to be a date. Figures they would be dealing with…all this, and Kara just wants Alex to feel normal and have a social life. Meanwhile all Alex wants is to work and then curl up into a tiny ball at the end of the day.

“Goddamnit,” Alex says under her breath. This is exactly why one should never work with family members. It muddles all the lines between personal and professional life. Now she has to wrap up early here, so she can look respectable for this definitely-not-a-date with someone’s sister. She should have asked for a photo, Alex realizes belatedly.

“Captain Danvers, I have pulled the subject’s social media for your perusal.”

“Huh?”

Brainy looks down his nose with that expectant expression that drives Alex bonkers. “Well from your conversation I deduced that, in spite of her promises, this is indeed a date. You see, I have learned to detect the signs of obfuscation.”

“Outstanding.” Alex pinches the bridge of her nose. Maybe it’s the impending date or perhaps the recirculated air, but another headache is coming on. This is starting to be a regular thing.

“I estimated a ninety-eight percent chance that prior to interacting with your ‘date,’” Brainy continues, placing air quotes around the dreaded word, “you would want to assess their attractiveness. And from there I ran a search of relatives to Nia Nal, cross-referencing –”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it Brainy, you google stalked her.”

“I did no such thing! This was the result of careful deduction and targeted research.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “Just show me. And not on the big screen.” No need to broadcast her plans to the others in the control room. They all look bored and would likely over-appreciate the distraction. 

“But why –”

“Just! Do it,” Alex says. The immediate screen lights up.

Vanessa Nal. Thirty years old. Former occupation: attorney. Currently in the governance department.

Alex scrolls down to the photos. There aren’t a lot. In almost all of them Vanessa peers anxiously at the camera, a fake half-smile plastered on her face. The better pictures are the candid shots where she seems unaware of the camera. In those she’s often laughing, her head tipped back, long, dark hair tied into a ponytail. In one she peers across a body of water, her brow furrowed, mouth slack. Alex shivers and scrolls past that one. It feels too private. Scenes of a past life evident in the background. The lake, green parks, buildings Alex has never seen. Somewhere other than National City from the looks of it.

She drags her focus back to the subject at hand. Vanessa Nal is moderately attractive, Alex concludes. Plain but pleasing features. Kara could have chosen worse. Not that physical appearance is the only factor to consider, she reminds herself.

“Would you like any additional information on your date?” Brainy asks. “I can conduct a search for school records, parking tickets…”

“It’s not a date!”

“What should I call it?”

“Just…nothing. Don’t talk about it.”

“Noted. Shall I let others know you will not be working late today?”

Alex bites the inside of her cheek unexpectedly hard, the taste of blood seeping out.

“Don’t you have something to do besides gossip, Brainy?”

“I…”

Alex doesn’t wait for the answer but walks away as if responding to a silent call from the other end of the room, the alien’s voice fading into the distance as her intention becomes clear.

When the buzzer sounds for shift changeover she’s strangely relieved to escape Brainy and his questioning glances, filled with all of the uncomfortable and inappropriate questions he so clearly wants to ask. But then there’s the reality of the evening ahead. The throbbing in her temples beats a bit deeper.

There’s no denying her nerves, though she hopes the confident stride hides her internal state. It’s her first date in a while and first under these circumstances, but she shouldn’t be this anxious. Perhaps it’s the fact that there will be an audience to the encounter. Kara and Nia, both watching the entire thing with bated breath, making a quick exit unlikely in the event that things are not jiving. However pleasant or unpleasant this Vanessa Nal proves, Alex is stuck riding out the entire evening.

Voices laugh from the other side of the door. Alex knocks, but enters before waiting for a response. Three faces turn to her in unison, Kara’s smile brightening while the other two smiles dim with uncertainty. Everyone clambers to their feet, setting aside wine glasses, for the mandatory round of introductions.

Nia is easy to spot, her face still carrying traces of baby fat and eyes taking in everything with the guilelessness of youth. That leaves just the older Nal sibling, pale with long straight hair and uneasy eyes that flicker somewhere between brown and grey. The awkwardness evident in so many of her photos is on full display as she regards Alex warily. Alex can’t decide if their mutual suspicion bodes well or not.

“My friend, Nia,” Kara says, willfully oblivious to any discomfort. “This is my sister Alex.”

“It’s great to meet you Nia,” Alex says, extending a hand. It’s a bit formal, hard to turn off at the end of shift. Yet another reason this is a bad idea, Alex thinks. Too late now.

“Likewise! And this is my sister, Nessa.” Alex can’t help noticing how Nia’s voice rises with expectation as she gestures to the taller and somehow paler version of herself.

Wordlessly Vanessa extends a hand, the same slightly pained smile on her face as those posed photographs. Her skin is cool to the touch, though it warms upon contact. Kara beams. Alex doesn’t need to see her to imagine the flush of success already upon her cheeks.

“Food’s here,” Kara says, apparently satisfied with their introduction.

They clump around the coffee table, Kara eagerly opening cartons, causing aromas of rice and soy sauce to fill the air. For a few moments the work of filling plates occupies everyone’s focus. Alex is only a few bites in before Kara is already going in for seconds. As she scoops the remaining lo mein, Kara smiles at Vanessa.

“So Nessa, Nia tells me you were an attorney.”

“That’s correct.” Kara pauses but Nessa takes another bite, chewing slowly as her gaze roams the brightly lit room, eyes resting ever so briefly on the curtain obscuring the dark sky.

“How was that?”

“Alright.”

Kara’s eyes flick to Nia. _Help me_.

“Alex, you’re in security, right?” Nia asks.

“Yes.”

“That sounds interesting.”

Kara elbows Alex sharply between the ribs.

“Yeah, it can be,” Alex says, suppressing the urge to groan. “Though it’s not all glamorous. I mostly spend my time watching monitors, assessing threat levels. It’s trickier now that we have to monitor both threats on earth and in space. Not to mention keeping eyes on everyone that works for us.”

“That sounds tough,” Nia responds.

“It is,” Alex agrees. “And governance isn’t making it any easier limiting our surveillance capacity.”

“Right,” Nessa says. “Because privacy is a thing of the past I suppose?”

“We’re not trying to do anything like that,” Alex retorts. “This is a delicate situation, we could all literally blow up if someone does something stupid. I don’t think trying to protect people makes security the bad guys.”

“It doesn’t. But swooping in before people have done anything, merely on the basis of suspicion? That does.”

Alex shifts uncomfortably. She forgot Nessa works with governance. She must be referring to the Markel situation. That had been an uncomfortable briefing. Alex didn’t recall seeing Nessa there, but then again, she had spent the time arguing her case. The frustrating part is how stupidly obvious the whole thing was. Robert Markel caught scoping out the core engine room, plans in his bedroom containing an outline of how to trigger a critical failure. The resulting explosion would have decimated four city blocks.

“Bob Markel confessed,” Alex says.

“Under duress. That confession would be inadmissible in any legitimate court. Why was he not provided an opportunity for counsel?”

“He was!”

“Right. After confessing.”

“He wanted to kill all of us,” Alex says. Despite her best effort to remain calm she can feel the heat building along the back of her neck. “Would you honestly risk your life so some crazy-pants that – I’ll say it again – _confessed_ to trying to blow everything up could get just that much closer to pulling off his plan? Where we supposed to wait until we were seconds from disaster?”

“Yes,” Nessa responds. “Absolutely. There were other explanations. But instead of considering that you all tortured a poor man into believing that the best option was to confess. If you can’t extend that right to listen to someone a bit eccentric, you can’t expect that right for yourself.”

“Well I don’t agree with that. He gave up that right when he joined. We’re all held to a higher standard.”

“Excuse me?” Nessa’s jaw tightens as she leans forward, plate pushed aside. The tips of Alex’s ears burn as she also leans forward, blood surging in anticipation of…what? She can’t get into a fight here, with Vanessa Nal, a nobody in the grand scheme of things. Kara would never forgive her. Gritting her teeth, Alex stiffly reclines.

“Had I known, that’s how people felt,” Nessa says, voice even lower than usual, and gaze fixed on Alex. “I never would have come here. No matter the consequence.”

Beside her, Nia pales. “You don’t mean that. I think we just need to remember not to make assumptions.”

“That’s not what I’m hearing,” Alex says. “I’m hearing someone doesn’t want to be here.” A memory of earlier in the afternoon flashes to the forefront. It all clicks.

“You were a lawyer, right?” Alex continues. “I bet this is what you did. Put criminals and threats back on the streets.”

Alex notes with satisfaction that Nessa’s cheeks pink and the vein in her neck pulses a bit faster.

“I made sure everyone got a fair shot,” Nessa says. Her voice aims for steady calm, but wavers at the end. “I won’t let people abuse their power. Not then, not now.”

“Right,” Alex says with a harsh laugh. “You’re the reason people hate lawyers. You aren’t helping anyone. You spread doubt around and prevent people like me from doing our job of actually keeping people safe.”

Nessa inhales sharply. Nia averts her gaze, deep red indentations showing on her lower lip.

Deliberately Nessa clears her throat. “Uh, Kara, I just realized I have work I have to do tonight.” Nessa stands, rubbing her hands against her jeans. “I, um. Thank you for the food,” she concludes. Without a glance towards Alex, Nessa walks to the door and leaves.

“I should probably go too,” Nia says, hastily stacking their half-finished plates. “It was a lov…I’ll see you tomorrow Kara.”

The second exit is quieter as Nia delicately shuts the door.

“What is wrong with you?” Kara explodes as soon as they are alone. “Why did you have to get so confrontational?!?”

“She is awful!” Alex retorts. “God, a freaking lawyer! Governance! With everything going on how did you think this would go? What a disaster.”

“You never gave it a chance!”

“Oh come on. Nessa was terrible. I mean, even you couldn’t get her to talk.”

“So she’s a little shy. Nia was really quiet too until I got to know her.”

“Kara, we literally work in opposition to each other! That was never going to work.”

“But –”

Alex holds up a hand and mercifully Kara stops. “I’m not mad at you,” Alex says. “But this has given me a headache so I think I’m going to head back to my place.”

Kara’s anger fades as quickly as it arose, replaced by concern. “Sure, you’re not mad at me?”

Alex squeezes her sister. “I’m sure. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Quickly, Kara wipes her nose. “I just want you to be happy. Nia seemed to think you two would really hit it off and I thought then we could all hang out and it would be so fun. It would be…”

 _Don’t say normal_. Kara seems to understand and her voice trails away, thought unfinished.

“I know, sweetie.” Alex kisses Kara on the forehead. Delicate, caring Kara with skin stronger than steel. “But in this situation, it may not be possible.”

“We have to learn, though. This isn’t like how it used to be, Alex.”

Through the curtain the dark sky filled with stars calls. The endless void, Alex thinks. The void from which there is no escape, that will swallow them all someday, Alex and Nessa included.

Hopefully Nessa first.


	2. Nessa

The Nal sisters walk quickly, Nia taking an extra skip step every so often in order to keep pace with her longer-legged sibling. In spite of the exertion, Nessa’s frustration only grows stronger the further they move from the triggering site. By the time they reach their unit Nessa is ready to burst, on the verge of making a public scene, despite the fact that public scenes are by no means in her wheelhouse.

“Nia,” she says hand pressed against the door to their shared unit. The younger Nal shivers in the climate-controlled hallway.

“What?”

The door swishes open and closed, foreclosing the simultaneously tempting and mortifying possibility of a public scene. 

“I saw –”

“What have we said about that?” Nessa interrupts. “No. Never!”

Nia shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

The anger rises like steam as Nessa takes in the familiar items in the unfamiliar space, finally letting it go with one last deep exhale. She never would have agreed to dinner if she’d known about the set-up. But it became obvious the second Kara and Nia exchanged glances. Of course, by then it was too late to back out. The upside to their argument is that at least Nessa won’t have to worry about being invited back. Though avoiding the Danvers could be a challenge.

Nessa tosses herself down on the love seat, the leather fabric bringing her in for a sorely-needed hug. She can’t stay mad at Nia. It’s not her fault, not really. Nessa rolls over, opening her arms. Nia crawls into the open space willingly and any tension is forgotten. Inhaling her sister’s warm scent, Nessa makes the mistake of closing her eyes.

_The knock on the door is enough to break her concentration. Nessa glances up in irritation. She really ought to ask for a new assistant. This one never follows instructions, including the one she gave not an hour ago about not disturbing her under any circumstances._

_“Yes, Meredith?”_

_“I know you asked to not be disturbed,” the young girl blurts, her hand twisting around the doorknob. “But your sister called and said it’s urgent.”_

_Nessa’s irritation evaporates in an instant._

_“I’ll take it,” Nessa says._

_She presses the line number and waits for the click to indicate Meredith is no longer listening._

_“Nia?”_

_“Oh my gosh, Ness, I’m so glad I caught you!”_

_Nia’s voice is breathless, as if she’s been running, and there’s an odd high-pitched edge to her voice that’s something more than telephone distortion._

_“What’s going on? Is everything ok at work? Are you hurt?”_

_The scenarios run through her head, each worse than the one before. She’s been outed at work. Fired. Kicked out of her apartment. Assaulted._

_Nessa never should have let Nia move all the way across the country on her own. She’s always been there to protect her younger sister. She should have ignored Nia’s wishes to try this on her own. After all, look what’s happened._

_“Someone at the firm will have contacts out there,” Nessa continues, the backs of her eyes beginning to burn. “I can be on the next flight out. We’ll get you set up and fix this. They won’t get away with it.”_

_“No, Ness, it’s nothing like that,” Nia says. “But, I think you should come here. There’s something happening. Something bigger than me. You’re in danger. We all are.”_

_“What?”_

_The city skyline stands in sharp relief to the darkening evening sky. Silver rectangles with lit interiors against the navy blue-dark green curtain. Oddly comforting in its structure, sense of order._

_Nia isn’t in danger. The relief overwhelms her, temporarily rendering everything else unimportant._

_“I’m fine, silly,” Nessa says._

_“Ness, I dreamed –”_

_“No!” Nessa yells. “We have a rule. It’s too unpredictable.”_

_“Please.” Nia’s voice wavers. “Ness, I’m scared.”_

_It’s the tremoring voice that does it. Nia knows exactly how to play her. The last non-stop flight to National City leaves in ninety minutes. She won’t have time to run home and pack, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’s had to buy clothes during an impromptu visit._

_“I’m on my way to the airport now,” Nessa says._

Nia doesn’t seem to have noticed her quick powernap. All the better, for she doesn’t want Nia to worry that she’s dreaming again. Nessa shifts into a more comfortable position. Nia’s eyes remain open, but she too appears on the verge of falling asleep.

“You know I really should do some work,” Nessa says, jumping up suddenly.

“Now?”

“Yeah. Keep my mind off things.”

Nia nods in understanding, heading to her room quietly.

Nessa’s work desk is in the kind of disarray she never would have tolerated at the law firm, but which is becoming unfortunately standard in her more cramped conditions here. Governance on the _Beacon_ has proven more difficult than anyone anticipated. Everyone has an opinion, from the trigger-happy Alex Danvers-types to the rationale Nessa’s. It seems unfair that in creating a new society they remain collective bound by the social niceties of the old. They may have crawled their way out of the ocean, but they remain the same primordial being underneath the appearance of evolution.

Some things never change, Nessa thinks. And others, too much, as her eye is drawn once again to the bleak darkness outside.

_The landing rattles the plane in the awful way that always make Nessa imagine the entire thing is going to burst into flames. Six months of this cross-country flight and she still can’t shake her fear of planes. She’ll be glad of the day when Nia feels she has established her independence enough that they can once again live within driving distance._

_Nia’s standing at the exit, jumping from foot to foot anxiously. She grabs Nessa’s hand and pulls her along._

_“What no hug?” Nessa asks. “It was only a six hour flight. Who has time for such formalities?”_

_“I’m sorry,” Nia says, not stopping. “We don’t have a lot of time.”_

_“Alright, but can we swing by somewhere? I’m here with literally the clothes on my back.”_

_“There’s no time.”_

_“Nia, stop!”_

_Nessa steps around her younger sister, forcing her to pause._

_“What is going on?”_

_“It’s hard to explain…”_

_Nessa crosses her arms. “Well try me. Because I’m not moving until I know why I dropped everything to come here.”_

_Nia’s eyes dart around, an odd blend of frustration and nerves. “Fine, I’ll tell you everything. But we need to walk at the same time.”_

_“Deal.”_

_Nia powerwalks ahead and it takes a second for Nessa to catch up, even with her longer legs._

_“Have you heard of the DEO?” Nia asks. “Or wait…no. That’s not important. You know about the Children of Liberty stuff?”_

_“Yes.” For all her protestations of being safe, maybe Nia really is in trouble. Maybe it’s about those anti-alien losers. National City has been in the headlines a lot as a hotbed of conflict. For all of the supposed liberalness of the west coast it’s not nearly as safe as Bay City and the other hubs out east. Nia must sense her concern rising for she plows ahead, cutting off any potential interruption._

_“They’ve escalated. It’s not about attacking individual aliens now. So please, stop worrying, I can see it all over your face. Instead they are trying to rid the earth of aliens through some decontamination plan.”_

_“How? I thought they already tried that and failed.”_

_Nia nods, turning sharply around the corner. “They did. But instead of going to the air, this time, they plan to go lower.”_

_“You mean underground?”_

_“Exactly. Into the earth’s core. But they don’t know how this stuff works. It won’t be stable there. It’s too hot and there’s too much pressure. Nessa, it’s going all go nuclear and we have to leave.”_

_“What? How do you know this stuff?”_

_Her baby sister might be inquisitive and bright, but there is no way she understands enough about science to know – with absolute certainty – that some alien substance will trigger a nuclear explosion of the earth’s core. Thinking it through, it’s obviously ridiculous. Another dream with a more opaque meaning, some alternative interpretation. Nia has always been far too literal about her dreams._

_“The DEO,” Nia says. “A government organization that protects aliens. And Supergirl. And…well, there are some people you need to meet. People you will meet. But first we have to get to the spaceship.”_

_“Spaceship?!?” Nessa wants to laugh but holds in only because she can tell it would hurt Nia’s feelings. In a month they will be able to laugh about this. Nia will joke about her overreaction and make a funny comment about perpetuating alien stereotypes by rambling in public about spaceships. As if one could just go to the local dealership and find a vehicle appropriate for the rigors of space travel._

_But no laughing now. Right now, her sister is very, very scared, and borderline paranoid. Nessa needs to be understanding and above all, calm. Possibly make plans to stick around for a week while she gets Nia evaluated._

_“They have a spaceship,” Nia says, her eyes wide with intensity. Poor girl is really confused this time. “The DEO have it and they’ve called in Lena Luthor to fix it up. We have seats onboard but they are going to leave soon.”_

_“Ok sweetie,” Nessa says. Best to let her play this out. There is obviously no spaceship but perhaps she can get a better idea of the depth of Nia’s confusion before redirecting her. “Take me to your leader.”_

_Nia’s forehead crinkles. “That’s not funny.”_

_“I’m sorry. I…it’s an odd situation.”_

_That appears to placate Nia, who expertly hails a cab outside the airport. Nessa squeezes Nia’s hand during the quiet ride and Nia returns the gentle pressure. No hard feelings._

Goddamnit. Nessa wipes her mouth for any errant traces of drool. This is rapidly becoming Nessa’s least favorite dream. Why does her mind have to keep returning to that awful day? What curse befell the Nal family so many generations ago that not a single one of their women should ever be allowed a simple night’s rest? Not even a damn nap?

Not that she has any right to complain. Nia has the rarer, and subsequently, more challenging gift. Like the majority of Nal women, Nessa’s visions are confined to the past. A curse of a different nature, doomed to see things again and again knowing there is no chance of change. No fixing mistakes, no opportunity to improve. Teaches one to pick up on patterns though, and hopefully recognize such patterns in the present. At least that’s the party line they repeat every generation. But no one, including Nessa, really believes it.

Certainly nothing she’s ever seen of the past has prepared her for this. For not once has Nessa dreamed of the challenges in surviving in space. In the whole of human history, all the people she’s known, not one contains the memory of creating food and water from nothing.

In her blurred vision the memos and analyses appear as a single quilt of interwoven problems, threatening to snuff them all. Only three days and already the factions are struggling for power. If governance can’t find a solution within a day, two at most, any chance of creating a reasonable society, of surviving, of maintaining their humanity, will vanish. Nessa doesn’t need visions of the future to know that. That is something she’s seen play out innumerable times in the past. It’s already played out in the rush to judgement on Bob Markley. The first casualty of their social experiment and supposed last hope.

Nessa shakes her head. This line of thinking isn’t productive. She needs to approach it logically. Sure, they were all rushed in the mad dash at the end, but that doesn’t mean they lack resources. This spaceship came from somewhere, somewhere with a history. For once, it’s possible dreaming can help, if she could exert any kind of control over her subconscious mind.

_Please, give me something I can use._

Clearing a small space for her head, Nessa rests her cheek against the cool surface of the bare desk and closes her eyes.

_“What the hell is this?!?”_

_“It’s the spaceship. I told you this was our destination.”_

_But it wasn’t supposed to be real, Nessa thinks. It’s too absurd. Too fantastical. If there is a spaceship does that mean the rest is true as well? The entire earth could be gone?_

_“We can’t do this,” Nessa says. The panic rises unexpectedly, it leaves her reeling as if the steady ground were suddenly replaced by choppy ocean waters. Or worse, nothing. “It has to be a mistake.” Without earth there is no life. It’s inconceivable. She can’t live without a solid ground beneath her feet. The mere thought makes her dizzy._

_“It’s not. I know it’s hard to believe and I didn’t want to either. But we have less than twenty-four hours.”_

_Nia guides her onboard the vessel. Serious faces rush through the corridors, oddly quiet in their haste. Many carry boxes and overstuffed suitcases. Nia places her palm to the outside of a door and soundlessly it slides open. Inside is a micro-version of Nia’s apartment. She’s already moved photos and knickknacks, arranging them in a manner identical to the room Nessa saw last time she was in National City. The entire effect is unnerving. Déjà vu. Something seen before yet new. Temporal disorientation._

_Nia stands over her with a damp cloth._

_“You passed out,” she says._

_“I want to go home,” Nessa responds. She’s never felt the concept of ‘home’ as deeply as she does now. That place where everything is just as she left it, where she knows the rules. This is all changing too fast._

_“I know. But this will be our home now.”_

_It doesn’t seem real. Even when they take off, with a deep shuddering that makes the airplane landing seem like a float down the lazy river, it still doesn’t seem real. Smoke obscures the city until they are too high to make out anything more than the major topography that has been around for eons. Then that fades until there is only green and blue, intercut with wispy white. Finally, that becomes nothing more than a ball, a marble against a black backdrop._

_Nessa watches the marble grow smaller and smaller. Shortly after the colors have blended together leaving a pale contrast to the space, there’s an announcement. The strangers gather against the big windows of the command center, scarcely breathing. The marble glows hot white for a second, and then vanishes. In the afterimages against her eyes Nessa it’s impossible to say whether anything happened. But when the echo of light fades, all that remains is the void, now absent one small planet._

_The space in her soul where the earth should be is empty and dark. There are gasps, and a few muffled tears, but all Nessa feels is cold. She retreats through the sterile passage to their semblance of normality._

_Others can escape by sleeping, but for Nessa sleep is a trap, a reminder of what’s been lost and all that she so unknowingly left behind. The tears burn out of her eyes. There’s only a minute before Nia will return so she has to be quick._

_“I want to go home,” Nessa confesses to the darkness._


	3. Lena

The knock outside Lena’s office contains the kind of efficient rap that immediately endears her to the visitor.

“Come in,” she calls, not bothering to look up from the memo on her screen.

Unfamiliar footfalls, light, probably female, enter and pause a respectful distance away. Lena forces herself to finish reading before taking in the guest. Most of the people on board this vessel are strangers to Lena, and with a Luthor name she arrives with some unwanted notoriety that tends to keep people strangers.

The woman is approximately Lena’s age, lean, with an air of precision about her. She’s dressed in the simple uniform granted to everyone and fidgets with her hands while her gaze steadily takes in the office.

“It’s not many people that come around here,” Lena says. “Care to introduce yourself?”

“Vanessa Nal. Governance.”

Ah. Just business then.

“Nal?” Lena repeats. She never forgets a name. “Nia?”

“My sister,” the woman confirms.

“I had no idea she had siblings.”

“I live – lived – in Bay City.”

Vanessa’s throat bobs and Lena feels a pang of sympathy. So much left behind, lost forever. What a waste. But this isn’t the first time Lena has had to start over in life. Reinvention is practically routine by now. Yet no easier with practice.

“Well, I am glad you were able to join us,” Lena says. “Nia is wonderful. Please take a seat.”

“You know about the resource issues,” Vanessa says. It’s more a statement than question so Lena does not interrupt. “I am trying to learn how the previous inhabitants survived given the lack of storage facilities. As you are the primary engineer and initially fixed this…place up I thought you might have some insight.”

Lena tightens her jaw. Limited insight, she thinks. This ship is one of too many things about which she was told too little, too late. She’s mad at Kara, furious really, but it’s become obvious that she’s also quite upset with herself. How could she have not seen it over the past couple years? But her visitor doesn’t care about her petty interpersonal drama.

“I’m afraid you’d have to ask someone with the DEO. Alex or Kara Danvers would be your best bet.”

Vanessa’s face pales at the names.

“I…I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” It’s the kind of personal question Lena would typically never ask, but nothing is typical anymore. She’s been in self-imposed isolation for going on four days and this person might be her best chance at having an ally. A friend even. But she regrets the casualness immediately.

“I’m sorry, that’s none of my business,” Lena says. “I just…I was really close with Kara Danvers, but we’ve had a bit of a falling out recently. You seemed like you might be in a similar situation.”

Vanessa’s serious face relaxes into something like relief. “My sister tried to set me up with Alex.”

“Oh?”

“It was a disaster.” Vanessa rolls the word out for emphasis. “I think Alex Danvers is the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met.”

Lena laughs. God it feels good to laugh. Vanessa joins in, her serious expression filling with an unexpected humor. The release leaves them both feeling lighter. Vanessa sits and Lena leans down, opening the bottom drawer of the desk. The corner of Vanessa’s mouth twitches as she appraises the bottle of whiskey.

“Do you drink?” Lena asks.

“I’m an attorney,” Vanessa responds.

Good answer. Lena pours them each a generous two fingers. It goes down quickly and soon she’s refilling. Vanessa swirls the amber liquid before taking a thoughtful sip, brow crinkled. Still thinking about her initial question probably. Oddly unconcerned with the presence of Lena Luthor. All good traits in Lena’s view. Someone who won’t be intimidated or distracted. Lena has only met Nia once or twice. The only fact she recalls for certain is that she works with Kara at CatCo. Worked. Lena take a swig at the unwelcome thought of Kara.

“So Vanessa, what’s your story? Don’t make me share one of the last bottles of hard liquor with a stranger.”

Vanessa opens her arms wide, glass held impressively level as she does so. Lena can’t help but admire her confident self-awareness.

“I’m an open book. Ask me anything you want to know.” A very slight slur is the only giveaway that the drink is having some effect. But at two drinks in Lena is also feeling the warm glow of alcohol.

“Are you human or alien?”

“Does it matter anymore? We’re all aliens now.”

“Fair point, but say you wanted to date a human. An Alex Danvers?” Vanessa snorts. “Any barriers?”

“I am not human,” Vanessa says. “Not if you follow the one percent rule anyways. But our family has been integrated with humans for generations.”

“Do you only date women?”

“If I can help it.” Vanessa eyes Lena with interest. “Do you?”

“What?”

“Don’t play coy with me,” Vanessa teases. “You don’t offer thirty year old whisky to everyone that enters your office.”

“Maybe I just want a friend.”

“Maybe you’re looking to replace a friend.”

“Why would you say that?”

“That’s basically what you admitted earlier,” Vanessa says. “I assumed you meant Kara.”

She did kind of leave that one out there, Lena has to admit.

“My turn for a question,” Vanessa continues. “What happened with you and Kara if it wasn’t a break-up?”

“She lied.”

“Sometimes that’s important,” Vanessa says. Very diplomatic. Vanessa Nal is a good one, Lena decides. She’s focused, observant, and not afraid to challenge. The buzz in her chest and Vanessa’s calm demeanor encourage Lena to keep going, to share what she would typically keep inside.

“For years, Kara and I were friends. Then, separately, I worked with Supergirl. Two people, two different relationships. The day before we left…” Lena shakes her head, staring down into her glass to avoid any tears.

“The day before we left Kara told me the DEO had a spaceship that could help some of us escape and survive. She said Alex told her to get me. I went and I helped them rig this up as best we could before leaving. Supergirl came and said she would be on board as well. Then right after the…earth thing…Kara told me the truth.”

“She’s Supergirl?”

“You knew?!?”

“No,” Vanessa says. “But your story kind of seemed to be leading to a certain point so I made an educated guess.”

“Well apparently everyone else knew Kara was Supergirl. I feel so hurt that she didn’t share it. That she didn’t trust me. And truthfully I feel stupid too, for not having seen was what is now so glaringly obvious.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Ignore her until I can’t. Probably won’t be too long given that we are literally trapped in this metal canister.”

The reference to the ship prompts Vanessa to glance around the small office. A rare space allotted to something other than residence or official work functions. After being responsible for putting the ship in working order, the request for an office was not one easily denied. But Vanessa’s expression betrays no envy, only a kind of appreciation for the efficiently utilitarian space.

“What do you know about this ship?” Vanessa repeats.

“I know the DEO had it. I know it’s alien. Kryptonian specifically.”

“Kryptonian? Is that like…?”

“Supergirl? Yes. It’s not how she came to earth though so I’m not entirely certain of its purpose. The DEO are not great about sharing information,” Lena adds.

“You don’t say.”

Lena laughs, raising her glass. “Cheers to that.”

“And to making new friends,” Vanessa says.

“To new friends.”

They drain their glasses in tandem.

“I may have a temporary fix to your problem,” Lena says. “Besides whiskey. When we left earth, we would have brought microscopic particles in our clothing. Some of those particles may be mold, fungus, things we can harvest and potentially grow.”

Vanessa laughs.

“Oh, you’re serious,” Vanessa says. “You can do that?”

“It’s not easy, but yes.”

“How long will it take?”

“We will have to stretch our resources,” Lena admits. “But knowing there is a plan should prevent people from panicking and any kind of coup.”

Vanessa releases a long breath. “Do you think we’re going to make it?” she says.

“I assure you, I can get this to work,” Lena says.

“Not the food issue,” Vanessa says. “Beyond that. Long-term. Do you think the two hundred or whatever of us can actually survive in space without all killing each other or this vessel shutting down?”

There it is, Lena thinks. The crux of the fear felt by each and every person on board the _Beacon_. The fear will eat them alive if they can’t contain it, it will consume them long before they run out of water or oxygen.

“You know they let me name the ship,” Lena says.

“Yeah?”

“I choose to call it _Beacon of Hope_ because I truly do believe that is what we are. We are hope that some small piece of earth, of humanity, can survive. That we will continue on in spite of our flaws, that perhaps we have here the best among us to represent what earth can be, and what a new earth will be someday.”

“It’s a good speech,” Vanessa says. “Do you believe it?”

“Do you think I believe it?”

Vanessa’s eyes focus as her brow furrows in concentration. “I don’t know,” she says slowly. “You’re a tough read. You’ll have to work on that.”

“Work on what?”

“Appearing more…candid. Less guarded. We need the people to trust you and to believe you’re speaking from the heart.”

“Should I be offended you don’t think that was from the heart?”

“Maybe just be flattered,” Vanessa offered. “I’m going to bring your name forward as our Commander. I think you have a strong position, you’re well-spoken, smart. All you lack is, well, let’s call it the common touch.”

“And you have that?”

“Gods no. But I can teach it,” Vanessa says. She studies Lena closely. “Think of it this way. Being Commander will almost certainly allow you to avoid Kara Danvers.”

“Done,” Lena says. The answer is a knee-jerk reaction, she isn’t even sure why it comes so quickly.

“Perfect. Step one: if you can solve our pending food crisis, anyone else is going to have a hell of a time challenging you.”

And with that, Vanessa Nal, rises gracefully, spins and leaves the small office. It feels a bit as if a windstorm just blew through the tiny room. Lena is energized by vaguely disoriented. That so much could change from a conversation with a stranger seems incredible.

Lena shuffles her documents until she has the right notebook. She will not let this gift go. She has a goal and a purpose. And now a way for not a single one of those things to involved Supergirl.


	4. Alex

“Have you seen the latest numbers?” Alex yells. Brainy cringes.

“Captain, I assure you, at this distance a normal volume is sufficient for me to hear you.”

Alex tosses the memo down in disgust. This is exactly the kind of bullshit she hoped to avoid. But already the governance team is keeping secrets, burying bad news in piles of data and dry verbiage.

“Rationing,” Alex says, intentionally a bit louder than necessary. A few others glance over. She doesn’t care. Everyone ought to know. “According to this report, we will be out of food in two days unless we begin rationing. They claim to have a long-term solution in the works but until then it’s half-portions.”

“Yes, Captain. I received the same memorandum.”

“And that’s just fine by you??” If there is one thing that frustrates Alex the most about Brainy it’s his refusal to recognize anger as a valid response to annoying situations.

“It is certainly not ideal; however, the decision has been made and I cannot argue with the logic,” Brainy says.

“Ugh.”

Brainy has never been a good go-to for sympathy. But Kara will get it. The two of them have been here since the beginning. Other than J’onn the only people on board that remember encountering this ship. Hell, if not for Kara this ship might have sent Alex across the universe. They have history, a right. They are the reason everyone here is even alive.

The nerve, Alex thinks. It’s so blatantly an attempt to wrest control from the DEO contingent. _And it will work._ That’s the rub. She let herself think the pilot room held meaning when most of the people aboard couldn’t care less where they go, they just want to know they will go. That they will survive.

The computer pings lightly. Alex’s jaw drops. A photo of Lena Luthor, smiling demurely into a camera dominates the message. But it’s the header that Alex can’t believe.

_Commander Luthor for your consideration._

For the second time in as many minutes she checks the clock. The daily meeting is in less than ten minutes. Someone better be prepared to explain what they hell they are trying to pull on her ship.

“You’re late,” Alex says as Nessa enters the command center. Nessa doesn’t respond but merely takes the sole remaining seat in the back corner. The members of the governance team face Alex in rows, like schoolchildren about to receive a lesson. Alex takes a breath.

“This morning some correspondence went out,” Alex begins. “I’d like to know who is behind it. Nothing should go to the public until it has been vetted.”

“Captain, the material was vetted,” says one of the men in the front row.

“This morning was the first I saw.”

“Governance reviewed it.”

“Since when is that your purview?”

The man squinted in confusion. “What exactly –”

“Governance,” Alex interrupts, “was put in place aboard the _Beacon_ to establish rules for the inhabitants. It is not, however, to be a decision-making body on topics such as food, rations.” Alex let the volume of her voice increase. “Or leadership.”

She pauses, taking time to make eye contact with every member of the governance team. Each one breaks first, glancing away after only a fraction of a second. When her eyes land on Nessa in the back row, Nessa refuses to turn away. Her stubbornness threatens to break what remains of Alex’s cool, forcing her heart to beat faster as she consciously tries to remain externally still.

“Do have something to share?” Alex asks.

“Yes,” says Nessa, standing. Unprompted she moves to the front of the room, sidling into the space occupied by Alex. For a moment it’s unclear if she intends to address the room or speak directly to Alex. She opts for a blend of the two, as if her and Alex were performing a play.

“The DEO may be the reason we are here,” Nessa says. “Hell, the reason we are alive. But none of us agreed to a DEO dictatorship when we boarded.”

“It’s hardly –”

“Those of us convened on the governance committee,” Nessa continues, “have an obligation to not only set the rules by which we as a micro-society will live, but to ensure we do so according to the wishes of _Beacon_ residents. Not the DEO.”

“What are you saying?”

“No one is replacing you as captain, Captain. But that does not make you in charge of every decision.”

“I’m afraid you seem confused as what being a captain means,” Alex says, barely able to keep her fists clenched behind her back. “It means more than piloting the vessel. It means being in charge.”

“Pilot, by all means, this is your dang spaceship. But in charge? We did not decide nor agree to that. Hence the need for a Commander.”

“A Commander?”

Nessa does not bother to respond. Alex is only too aware of the bobbing heads in the background. She’s losing them. This spaceship under someone else’s control could be disaster. None of them have the experience of the DEO in alien life to possibly navigate the complex politics they are about to encounter.

Alex takes a deep breath. These people are scared, she reminds herself. But they are not cut off from logic and reason.

“I hear what you’re saying,” Alex says. “And I agree.” Nessa’s jaw drops at the surprising turn and Alex feels a surge of smugness at throwing the attorney off her game.

“But the games that you’re playing to get there I will not allow. We aren’t on earth and up here it’s going to be clean politics.”

Murmurs indicate Alex has a chance to regain control of the conversation.

“If you want a Commander, fine. But any election is above-board and fair. And as Captain of the _Beacon_ , know that I shall continue to direct this ship from the deck.”

“That seems fair,” another member of the teams says. Others nod.

“Good,” says Alex. “Election talk ceases until you have a proper schedule.” She gazes firmly at Nessa, not bothering to disguise her irritation. “Any other bright ideas percolating? I don’t like surprises.”

This time Nessa breaks eye contact, cheeks flushing as she turns her eyes to the floor.

“Outstanding.” With a sharp turn, Alex exits, heading up to the main deck without a single glance.

“You know…” Brainy says after jogging a few steps to catch up, “they’re not wrong.”

“Not wrong about what?”

“Well someone does have to think about the everyday stuff. Things like the food and water, which is seems Ms. Luthor is working on at the behest of governance. Those are items not even on our radar. A metaphoric radar, of course. The ship’s radar detects external threats and is wholly unrelated to our food stores.”

“I know what radar does.” Alex rubs her temples.

This whole thing is too much. Taking over directorship of the DEO had been difficult but this…a whole new level. Not only responsible for the jobs of people, but their lives. Truthfully it would be easier to let governance handle it. But where to draw the line? Today they are concerned with food, but once that’s resolved, what comes next? Alex can’t appear to give in. She can’t look weak.

“We do now,” Alex says.

“Pardon?”

“From here on out I want to know everything. Supply stores, oxygen levels, who doesn’t report to work, skills on board, training, absolutely everything.”

“Everything?” Brainy repeats with a lowered tilt of the head.

“You heard me.”

Alex powerwalks her way past the command center towards the residential wing. She needs advice and that means one person.

Alex knocks against the smooth metal door, swallowing the butterflies that rise suddenly.

“Come in,” he says in a deep voice. The door slides open. J’onn rests in the center of the tiny room, legs crossed and eyes closed in meditation. Slowly he opens his eyes, mouth turning from serious into a smile.

“It’s good to see you Alex.”

“J’onn, I need you out there. We need a leader and it isn’t me.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Good morning to you too.”

“I’m sorry.” She takes a breath. “Hello J’onn.”

“You seem distressed.”

“It’s these people.” Alex takes a seat on the single chair while J’onn remains in his meditative pose. “This whole rescue mission. As soon as we let non-DEO people in, we lost control.”

“I’ll remind you I am no longer with the DEO.”

“I didn’t mean you. The other people.”

“And that’s a problem?”

“No.” Alex rocks a bit in the seat. “It’s a…complication. They don’t see the big picture.”

“Maybe you should tell them,” he says.

“No way. They would panic. Riot. I should have never let Kara talk me into letting Lena on board, because then it became Nia, and then friends of other agents, and now…” She shakes her head. “It’s too much now.”

“Am I a complication? Seeing as I am not with the DEO nor helping with the mission.”

“Of course not! You have insight and advice. I rely on you for guidance.”

“Perhaps you should rely on others in the same way.”

Alex frowns. Increasingly J’onn speaks in this roundabout manner, but if feels as if he is being particularly unhelpful today.

“For advice?” Alex repeats.

“Yes.”

“But they don’t know what you know,” Alex says again.

“They don’t,” J’onn agrees. “They know other things. A different perspective. That’s what you need. In fact, I’d wager I’m less useful to you because I trained you and therefore our perspectives are more similar.”

The seed of a headache begins to pulse in the back of Alex’s neck. This isn’t helping. Maybe coming to J’onn was a mistake with his whole new agey vibe thing. Peace and compassion and all that blah. Look what it got the human race. A planet blown out of the sky. No. Relying on other people is definitely not the way to go.

“Why did you come here if you didn’t intend to listen?” J’onn asks. Alex can’t decide if it’s annoying or useful that he always knows her reaction.

“I was hoping for some useful advice.” Alex bites her lip. “I mean, something a bit more practical.”

“You wanted someone to agree with you,” J’onn says. “But be careful of those who always agree with you Captain Danvers, for the only person you will ever see eye to eye with in all circumstances is yourself.”

“I just don’t see how inviting conflict is helpful.”

“It’s not if your mind is already closed. I only ask that you keep an open mind.”

“Alright.” Her heart beats high and fast in her chest, like a baby bird on the verge of its first flight. That’s the problem with an open mind. It forces her to question decisions already made.

“J’onn, am I doing the right thing?”

J’onn’s dark eyes seem to penetrate her own, perhaps reading her thoughts or perhaps simply taking her in. “You’re doing what you think is best,” he says.

“But is it the right thing?” It’s a dumb question, Alex knows that, but it feels important that J’onn, her former boss and mentor, should place his seal of approval.

“You’re referring to Argo,” he says.

He hasn’t been briefed. After all, J’onn is no longer DEO, but of course with his mental abilities he has known since they boarded where the vessel would go. To the only known survivable place for humans in the galaxy. To Argo.

It’s not an obvious choice, nor one free of its own complications. There’s no way to send an advance message. The inhabitants of Argo will be less than thrilled at the sudden influx of new residents, particularly the earthlings that have done them no favors. But after debate, it was deemed safer than the uncertainty of seeking out other earth-like planets.

“I am.”

J’onn shrugs. “Ultimately, it is for everyone to decide. You don’t have to be all things all the time Alex.”

Alex wants to believe him. So badly. This pressure is crushing, it keeps her up at all hours, staring into the bleak abyss and wondering. If the last of the human race ceases to exist it will be on her; her fault regardless of who else may have been involved. The buck has to stop somewhere. It stops with Alex.


	5. Kara

“I can’t believe her!” Alex yells. “And after you let her on board! Saved her freakin’ life and her being a Luthor, she ought to respect that,” Alex adds.

If the sofa could open up and swallow Kara she’d hide there while Alex rants. Normally it’s fine, even entertaining to listen to her adopted sister go on and on, the way her hands gesticulate more and more wildly and her voice fluctuates to higher and lower extremes. But Alex seems blithely unaware of the impact of the repeated mentions of Lena in her rant.

Her best friend hasn’t spoken to her since that awful moment when Kara had to come clean. She’s always known that moment would come, eventually. But that it should have been forced at such a precarious time, well, that’s the cost of waiting.

_She’ll come around_ , Kara thinks. But maybe she won’t. Lena is stubborn as they come and once she’s decided something not even Supergirl can convince her to change.

Alex stares at her.

“Huh?”

“I said don’t you agree?” Alex repeats.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“Good,” Alex says with a satisfied nod. “I knew you would understand why we can’t let Lena move forward with this.”

Kara cringes. Yet another thing she should have seen coming: her sister and Lena butting heads in their sealed environment. Everything that makes Lena such an inspiration is shared by her sister to some degree. They’re both leaders, smart, driven, and so very obstinate. Alex powers ahead, talking about this and that, but Kara can only focus on the growing ball of tension in her belly.

“I’m not feeling very well,” she interrupts.

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Kara says. “I’m not feeling well. Maybe…”

“Of course,” Alex says, moving in with a concerned expression. The back of her hand presses against Kara’s forehead before feeling her temple and neck. “You do feel warm. You should drink lots of water. I’ll track down some electrolytes for you.”

Alex pauses, the same thing apparently occurring to her as to Kara. Alex’s eyes flick over Kara, but she remains silent.

_Supergirl doesn’t get sick_.

No, but Supergirl exists on earth. The yellow sun that powered Supergirl vanished a day ago into another distant star.

“Stay put,” Alex says after a moment. “If there’s a virus or cold on this ship we need to contain it.” Her sister looks back one last time before stepping into the corridor.

“Great,” Kara mutters. On top of everything else she’s sick for the first time in her life. She flops onto the bed in the corner with a muffled groan.

Somehow this must be Lena’s fault. Not that Lena got her sick; but being upset about Lena must have contributed to this weakened immune state. How does Lena keep from getting sick, Kara wonders. She’s fastidiously clean but it must go beyond that. A kind of mental fortitude probably. They are going to love her on Argo. Any alien society would be lucky to have a Lena Luthor, she’s brilliant, strong, gorgeous…

“Stop,” Kara whispers to herself. This isn’t helping. Fortunately a knock breaks the cycle.

“Who is it?”

“Hey Kara, it’s Nia.”

The door slides open and Kara waves her inside before remembering she’s supposed to be under quarantine. Oops. Oh well.

“Fair warning, Alex thinks I might be sick,” Kara says. She can at least say she warned Nia.

“Oh no,” Nia responds with a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s…everything really. My entire body feels beat down, tired. My gut is tied in knots my head hurts.”

“When did it start?”

“It’s been happening on and off,” Kara says. “Every so often.”

“Uh huh. And might it correspond to thinking about a certain someone…”

“What?”

“Sorry.” Nia appears mortified. “I thought this was witty banter.” Flustered, the young woman takes a seat opposite Kara. “That was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have inferred anything. But related, when did everyone get so tense? I mean, I know the thing with Nessa and Alex was a disaster, but it seems like everyone has something up their butt these days.”

Kara can only stare. Nia’s eyes go wide.

“Not that I was implying _you_ have something up your…I mean. Maybe I’ll just be quiet for…ever.”

An awkward silence follows in which Kara wishes, yet again, to be swallowed whole by the furniture. But Nia must have come here for some reason. They haven’t chatted since… Oh yeah. That. With all the changes to life as they know it, the failed set-up completely slipped Kara’s mind.

“So Nessa’s been difficult huh?”

“The worst.”

“Alex hasn’t been great either.” Actually, this explains Alex’s excessive frustration as of late. Rao, she wishes that had worked. A distraction would be great right now. And there is no better distraction than relationships. Kara growls in the back of her throat.

“What’s wrong?”

“I feel useless,” Kara says. “Alex is piloting, Lena is making sure we have food, people like Nessa are busy setting schedules and I’m just sitting here. I have no powers. I’m contributing nothing.” Too late Kara realizes how whiny she sounds but she can’t retract it now. Plus it’s all true. No one has come by to request that the former Supergirl take a shift anywhere.

“Then make yourself useful.”

“Huh?”

Kara did not expect timid Nia, of all people, to adopt a lecturing tone with her. Yet there she is, one hand on her hip as she leans forward, staring Kara down like a disappointed mother.

“I said make yourself useful,” Nia repeats. “Stop whining. You’re not powerless. Sure, you don’t have super-strength, but that’s not exactly something we need here. Take what you’re good at and do that.”

“But I’ve never done anything else. Supergirl was my life.”

Nia tilts her head to the side. “That’s not what I thought when I met you.”

“CatCo?” Kara says.

“Why not?”

“Because…”

_Because I’m not Cat Grant._ But maybe she doesn’t have to be. The idea has a certain kind of appeal. A big ship alone in space, someone should be watching and reporting on those in charge, making sure the people know.

“Alright,” Kara concedes. “But how would I even go about doing a…magazine or newspaper here? I’m only one person.”

“I’ll help. Now you’ve got two. And everything is online. You can email directly to everyone.”

“Sure, but why would they take me seriously?”

Nia’s lashes flutter in exasperation. “Oh come on, Kara. Do I really have to tell you? Because you’re freaking Supergirl, whether or not you have powers. Because you know all the people in charge on this ship already. And because people trust you. Use that.”

“People trust me?”

“Yeah.”

Kara releases her breath slowly. She hasn’t thought about how this experience must be for the civilians, the hundreds of family and friends of the DEO who are new to this world, for whom the concept of living on a spaceship is still mind-blowing. They have no idea what’s going on.

Kara can only shake her head. “Sometimes I think you’re the older one,” she says.

“It’s easy to lose perspective when you’re so close to everyone,” Nia responds.

“You’re right. I need to help by making sure we’re all in this together.” Energized, Kara looks around the room for some sort or writing implement. There’s nothing. She’ll have to carry a tablet for notes. Not her preferred approach but she’s in no position to complain.

It's astonishing the difference a bit of purpose makes. Already her mind races, probing for angles and contacts, items of interest.

“We’ll need some fluff pieces,” Kara says, thinking aloud. “Maybe like a getting-to-know-you column? A lot of the people on board are strangers.” Nia begins to nod. “But then we’ll need to get to the people in charge. I’ve got Alex covered. I can start with a piece on her. ‘Get to know the captain’ or something.”

“And Nessa can give us the behind the scenes skinny.”

“You can get her to tell you that stuff?”

“For sure,” Nia says. “But I think people really want to more about the food situation.” She looks pointedly at Kara. All of Kara’s new-found confidence withers.

“I can’t.”

“You can,” Nia says. “Because someone has to know what is going on. People are low-level panicking Kara.” Behind Nia’s words there’s a hint of strain, something far more intense than her light tone would indicate.

“Wait. Did you come to talk to me exclusively with this reporting thing in mind?”

“Uh, yeah. Took like forty minutes to psyche myself up too so please don’t ruin it by being stubborn now.”

Unexpectedly Kara laughs. Nia might be the only person in the world that can get her to bend, to change her mind when she thinks she’s set in concrete. And somehow she does it all without ever forcing, but getting Kara to see the value of her idea. It’s Nia’s greatness, Kara thinks. Even more so than her dreaming.

“Is this a dream?” Kara asks. “I mean…something you saw in your dream. Us writing in space?”

Nia snorts. “I can have ideas like a normal person,” she says.

“Sorry. Of course.” Kara ducks her head in embarrassment, but late enough that she catches as Nia’s smile fades and the young woman blinks rapidly at the ground. Dreams are a sensitive topic. Best not to ask. Plus, it’s none of her business. Nia will share if it’s important.

Kara clears her throat. “So, we talk to Lena?”

“You talk to Lena.”

“No. You can’t leave me alone on this.” Kara knows it’s immature of her. Why is she afraid of seeing her best friend without backup?

“You have to,” Nia says firmly. She stands with a sigh. “I’ve got to go sweet-talk Nessa. Should I come by after dinner to compare notes?”

Drily Kara swallows and nods. The bright tablet screen taunts her. If she waits any longer she will lose her nerve. Nia wouldn’t be angry but would give her a disappointed expression later if she doesn’t even try to see Lena.

There’s a good chance Lena won’t even be in, Kara thinks as she walks quickly down the corridor. She raps quickly, rocking back in forth from toes to heels. It seems silent. Kara focuses her ears before remembering that her cells are no longer super-charged from earth’s sun. No super-hearing.

The silence extends and Kara feels increasingly stupid for standing in the corridor in front of this closed door, though she has yet to see anyone look at her strangely. It seems as if a full minute must have gone by. Surely she can give up now? Nia will understand if Lena wasn’t home. But that’s when the door whooshes open and Lena steps forward quickly, nearly running into Kara and sending a wave a perfume over what she only now realizes are some very wrinkled clothes that could probably use a wash.

“Kara!” Lena says. Her lashes flutter rapidly and hands rise unconsciously, touching her hair and neck.

“I knocked,” Kara says quickly. “I wasn’t waiting.”

“I work with music on. I guess I didn’t hear.”

Kara stares at the floor, noting Lena’s smart and polished heels.

“May I leave my unit,” Lena ask gently.

“Oh right,” says Kara, stepping out of the way. “Actually, I was hoping to talk to you,” she continues, stepping in tandem with the former CEO.

“Can we not?”

“Not like that. I’m going to start a paper or magazine. Something people can read to know what is going on here.”

“On the _Beacon_?”

“Yes.”

Lena’s brow furrows slightly. “That’s a good idea,” she mutters. “Why didn’t I think of that.”

Positive. Kara picks up the pace. “So, uh, I heard you are working on the food situation and I’d really like a quote. Or something.”

Abruptly Lena stops before another door, this one on the other side of the ship in the office zone. Damn they walked quickly.

“A quote?” Lena repeats, hand hovering just above the biometric scanner. “Testing is going well. I expect to have at least one viable samples in the next five days. Is that enough?”

Hurriedly Kara extracts the tablet and jots the note.

“Yes –”

“Good,” says Lena, opening the door and stepping inside in a single efficient move. “If that’s all the business you have then good day.”

And with that, the door closes, leaving Kara once again standing alone in the corridor.


	6. Nessa

Nessa keeps her eyes slightly averted as the door down the hall shuts in Kara Danvers’ face. She hasn’t talked with the younger Danvers outside of their fatally failed dinner, but she’s a friend of Nia’s, so can’t possibly be as bad as her older sister. The poor girl appears crushed, clinging to a tablet as if it holds the answer to a question that remains unasked.

Nessa pretends to read something on the bulletin board until Kara moves along the hall, bright red spots dotting her cheeks. Frustrated with the delay, Nessa pauses only a half second between knocking and entering Lena’s office.

“Kara I really –” Lena cuts herself off, flushing slightly at her error. “Nessa,” she says, settling back into her calm mask of neutrality.

“I think I’ve caught you at a bad time.”

“No,” Lena says firmly. “This is perfect actually. You’ll keep me from sulking.”

“Happy to help.”

Nessa takes the seat in front of the desk as Lena retrieves the half-finished bottle of whiskey.

“Kara seemed upset,” Nessa says.

“Well that’s on her. She wants to start a news outlet for the ship and I told her fine, gave her some numbers and said she could make up some generic quote from me.”

“Media?” Intriguing. That would play in their favor. Shame Lena seems to have already slammed that door shut. Literally.

Nessa clears her throat. “The promo you put together was nice.”

“Well, mother always did say I should be prepared for politics,” Lena responds. “It was a simple matter of modifying old slogans.”

“Right. Unfortunately, our fearless captain was less than thrilled.”

“The self-righteous Danvers?”

“Precisely. We’ve been ordered to halt all activities related to commandership. An official election process will be followed. Process TBD.”

“How very like the Danvers. Twist the rules to their whim and when there are no rules they declare the right to make them.” Lena straightens her posture, chin high. “Fine. We will win their game.”

Nessa’s blood warms, a surge of that old killer instinct which made her unstoppable in the courtroom. It’s intoxicating, energizing. Even with Alex Danvers slowing them down, there’s no controlling a campaign that has already started via word of mouth.

“You are hands down the best person I’ve met since I boarded this canister. No offense,” Nessa adds.

“None taken,” Lena says, laughing. “I did the best with what I could. “You’re pretty special yourself.”

For a moment the small space is comfortably silent as the two women avoid acknowledging the open emotion.

“Thanks,” Nessa says finally. “It’s been hard. Adjusting to life here. Not having my friends.”

“I get it. Not the friends part so much, I’m pretty used to operating solo. But this ship has been an adjustment.”

Lena eyes Nessa with interest, as if trying to see through her eyes. Nessa knows the kinds of questions that follow such a look.

“There are rumors that your sister dreams of the future,” Lena says.

“Yes.” They always want to know more about Nia. Specifically their future, what hints she can provide them. All strictly off limits of course. Visions of the future are unpredictable, unstable, not to mention the entire dreamscape rendering them metaphoric as well. Yet they always ask. Nessa braces for the inevitable.

“Do you dream?” Lena asks.

Not quite what she expected. Lena eyes her with the same curiosity as before. It doesn’t seem to be a play for information about Nia.

“I dream about the past.”

“Your past?”

“Everybody’s past.” Her own past has featured in dreams recently, but only because of the time spent inward since boarding the _Beacon_. Anyone, anything, she comes into contact with might manifest as a past vision. But this part Nessa doesn’t share. She can’t lose the only friend she’s made so far.

“Fascinating,” Lena responds. “Forgive me, but dreams like that, whether past or future, sound like a curse to me. I prefer my sleep dull and boring.”

“I would give it up if I could,” Nessa says. “Everyone thinks it’s this amazing gift. But how much of human history, how much of your own life do you really want to revisit? Not a whole lot. I envy your boring sleep.”

“There is one thing I would trade you for your dreams of history.”

“What’s that?”

“Fancy the last name Luthor?”

Nessa snorts.

“That’s what I thought,” Lena says. “Anyways. I’m sure you dropped by for more than a decent conversation. What can I do for you?”

“Updates,” Nessa says. “The food situation specifically.”

“Right.” In an instant Lena Luthor is all business, her fingers dancing across the small keyboard, eyes taking in data rapidly projected on the screen. Not for the first time, Nessa finds herself quite admiring the other woman. Her obvious intelligence, charm, stunning figure… It’s a shame she’s so hung up on Kara Danvers.

The thought of the Danvers sisters causes her to frown, a fact of which she becomes aware of only too late.

“Proceeding above expectations,” Lena recites. “Currently three cultures show signs of promise, I anticipate one will be ready for integration into food stores within… Is there a problem?”

“No, no,” Nessa says. “How long?”

“Two days,” Lena finishes, curiosity tugging at the corners of her mouth. Fortunately Lena shares the same sense of boundaries as Nessa, so Nessa is confident her friend won’t pry.

As the door to Lena’s office closes, a deep throb surges through Nessa’s temple. Solving this issue just means she needs to focus on the next. And the next, and the next. Water. Morale. Repairs. Training. They march through her head like picketers on parade. She needs sleep. There is a point where it can’t be delayed any longer, even for the hyper-caffeinated Nals. Four sleeping pills might do it. On earth three was usually enough to knock her into a dreamless sleep, but lately it’s taken more. Best not to think about the rapidly waning supply of prescription sleep aids. Right now she’s earned a quiet rest.

_The desk vibrates gently, a vaguely arrhythmic pattern. Automatically, she reaches for the phone._

_“Lena Luthor.”_

_“Hi Lena.” Kara sounds nervous, which adorably, is not unusual. Despite their friendship of almost three years her voice still tremors when about to ask Lena for a favor. Often an exclusive interview. Lena would tell her there’s no need to be anxious, but the trait is endearing, and likely unconscious. Bringing it to Kara’s attention would only exacerbate her nerves and make them both feel awkward._

_“What can I do for my favorite reporter?” Lena kicks her heels off, stretching her toes just above the polished floor. Kara half-laughs at the flattery._

_“I…um. It’s a strange request,” she says._

_“Well go on. I don’t have all day.”_

_“Right. You know my sister Alex? How she works at –”_

_“The DEO, yes,” Lena interrupts. “Why on earth would CatCo report on that?”_

_“It’s not CatCo,” Kara says. “This request is from Alex. There’s a ship. They need you to fix it up.”_

_“A ship. Like...a spaceship?” Lena feels stupid saying the word aloud but it’s the only thing that makes sense. Alien organization, alien technology. It wouldn’t be the first time they asked her to provide some consulting. But the first time for anything so large._

_“Exactly.” Kara ironically appears to have missed the skepticism in Lena’s tone and instead is grateful to not have to explain further._

_“You’re serious?”_

_“Lena things are happening. The Children of Liberty, they have some bad plans. Things are about to get out of control and this is the best option for all of us. For humanity.”_

_“How so?”_

_“Imagine taking the earth’s core nuclear.”_

_“We have to stop it.”_

_“It’s too late.”_

_“But how do you know?”_

_A pause. “Supergirl told me.”_

_“I see.”_

_Well, that certainly changes things. For all her pompous ways, Supergirl is not typically one to exaggerate. If the threat is extinction-level, then it makes sense the DEO would be pulling every resource to find a solution. Even if only a partial solution._

_“I’m on my way,” Lena says._

_As the town car smoothly navigates the city Lena tries to imagine the spaceship. Circular like the movies that always show the hapless farming family being beamed up? That structure doesn’t seem practical. Or perhaps more akin to an airplane, fundamentally cylindrical. What Lena does not expect is the boxy monstrosity Alex leads her to upon arrival. Non-organic metals at sharp angles, nuts and bolts that appear the space equivalent of rusted beyond removal. And aesthetically just…_

_“Not what you expected?” Alex asks._

_“I always thought the aliens would be more advanced than us,” Lena says. “Do we know where it came from?”_

_“Krypton.” Alex glances at her watch._

_“Go on,” Lena says. “I’ll get to work.”_

_The outside of the space is ugly, there’s no denying it, but it also appears remarkably well intact. They might just survive if this thing can get off the surface. Inside, it’s another story. The life systems are barely functional and require significant upgrades. Lena directs the DEO engineers to the most critical portions. They will tackle this rationally._

_A familiar thump against the ground causes the ship to rock slightly. Hands on hips, the blue suit shimmers as Supergirl smiles at Lena._

_“It’s good to see you Ms. Luthor.”_

_“Hello Supergirl.” Lena wishes Supergirl hadn’t felt the need to drop by. She’s busy and the timer Alex installed nearby with the countdown is not helping. She can’t even begin to imagine how her hair and makeup are faring in these conditions. It’s not exactly how she’d like the girl of steel to see her._

_Lena returns a bland smile before redirecting her attention back to the finicky electrical panel. Throat clearing comes from Supergirl’s direction._

_“I wanted to thank you for what you’re doing,” she says. A small pause during which it seems the usually confident hero falters. “I am one of the people whose lives you are saving.”_

_“Oh.” It makes perfect sense though Lena hasn’t taken the time to consider who exactly wins a ticket aboard._

_“You of course are going to be on board,” Supergirl adds, perhaps realizing no one may have explained that bit. “And any family you choose.”_

_“I don’t have any family I care much about. But I would like to bring Kara Danvers.”_

_Supergirl blinks before nodding quickly. “Of course. I believe she was already on the roster, but I shall make sure.” And with a whoosh, only air remains where Supergirl stood._

_It’s hours that feel like days and only minutes before Lena clears the ship for the first passengers to board. She’s still making rounds, conducting tests and repairs but enough is functioning that a few people shouldn’t get in the way. The final hours are even more of a blur as Lena returns home to pack a suitcase, scarcely able to keep her eyes open and turning off all TV and radio to avoid the non-stop coverage of the Children of Liberty’s latest actions._

_She catches a brief nap on the ride back to the DEO and then it’s final checks to prepare for launch. Lena needs to be firing on all cylinders for this moment. Someone, she thinks it’s a friend of Kara’s, hands her a caffeine pill which she downs with a Red Bull._

_Alex barks orders in a particularly gravelly voice. She must be running low on sleep as well. There’s an intense grinding sound as the ship’s engines warm up. The grinding drops to a low hum. Lena’s eyes don’t leave the monitor. If she screwed up earlier this may be the shortest space flight on record. Then again, Lena reflects, at least no one will be around to blame her. The vibrations of the ship intensify as she lights the thrusters. She hopes no one notices the tremor in her hand as she releases the brake._

_Lena stopped attending church at the age of six but she says a small prayer to herself now, something she recalls her mother and then later her father speaking late at night in the moments before she fell asleep._

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

_For a split second Lena swears the world is absolute silence. Then a horrible ripping sensation fills every inch of her being and she is pressed tightly into her seat harness. Sunlight explodes through the window as Lena realizes the noise was the ship exploding through the roof of the DEO. The world falls away with incredible speed but she can’t look down, not until they have successfully cleared the band of space trash orbiting the earth. After that, who knows. Alex has requested control of the pilot’s seat once clear of earth’s atmosphere and Lena sees no reason to argue. It’s not like they have anywhere to go._

_Every sense feels heightened, an exaggerated version of everyday life. When it’s over Lena can’t quite bring herself down. The adrenaline is still going, the caffenine and Red Bull are kicking in. She’s more wide awake now than ever. The passengers gather in the deck, watching the planet they call home retreat. Glancing at the crowd Lena doesn’t recognize most of them. No Supergirl, but perhaps she stayed in her room to avoid attention._

_Kara beckons Lena over to an empty corner._

_“Don’t you want to say your good-byes?” Lena asks, gesturing to the crowd by the window, pointing at the tiny blue sphere._

_“Oh, I’m alright. But if you want to…”_

_“I’m fine, silly. What did you want?”_

_“I need to tell you something.” Kara wrings her hands, looking everywhere except at Lena. Behind them someone gasps and low murmurs begin._

_“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, but it never seemed like the right time, and I never wanted you to be in danger because of it, but now we’re here and it’s kind of the only time.”_

_“Just say it,” Lena says with a laugh. Typical Kara to have blasted into space and now she probably wants to apologize for stealing CatCo pens or something that never mattered and definitely doesn’t now._

_Kara’s throat bobs. “I’m Supergirl.”_

_A flash of light fills the room and the low murmurs cease abruptly._

_“Oh my god,” someone says. A few people begin to cry. One rises into a wail._

_“Oh my god,” the voice repeats._

_“Supergirl?” Lena repeats._

_Kombucha, wine, shopping, talking, hours on the phone… The entire thing was an act. Lena takes a step back. It’s too much to absorb all at once, the sheer scope of the lie. Her own mother had never pulled something so brazen._

_“I need to go check the ship’s systems,” she says._

_“Lena, no.”_

_“You don’t get to call me that,” she retorts. Kara flinches. Good. She should flinch. Kara Danvers aka Supergirl has made Lena Luthor feel like a goddamn fool. And that is the one crime which is unforgivable._


	7. Alex

“Captain, I have today’s reports for you.” Brainy hands Alex a stack of paper that must be four inches thick.

“What the hell is this?”

“You requested to be kept abreast of all ship activity,” Brainy says. “These reports represent every possible schematic and statistic that pertains to the smooth functioning of the _Beacon_ and her people.”

“Christ Brainy when I said ‘everything’ I didn’t mean _everything_.”

“Well I’m afraid that was not made clear Captain.”

Alex can only scowl but as usual the alien appears unfazed. This whole thing is spinning sideways. She ought to go talk to Lena. They haven’t always seen eye to eye but Lena’s reasonable. She will listen to sense. The Commander business stinks of the governance team’s influence. Nessa Nal in particular.

The ever-black sky stares back uncaring. A pang fills Alex’s gut. Homesickness, she thinks. She knows one thing that would help, but lately she hasn’t felt like chatting much with Kara. Kara’s been mopey and dodging her, probably still hurt that Alex behaved so badly at dinner. Alex should apologize but she’s not quite there. If they were in National City she’d get good and drunk then apologize to Kara. But unless someone secreted it away Alex isn’t aware of any booze on board. That was an oversight, she thinks. There were many oversights. Towards the end things got rushed, slots were handed out in exchange for favors, slots given away unknowingly. Nessa must be one of those, Alex realizes suddenly. All the ‘extras’ were mandated to bunk up with someone. Just another reason to dislike her. The DEO turned no one away, and for that reason the _Beacon_ is actually loaded slightly beyond capacity, now to the detriment of everyone. From behind her eyes a small pulsing begins. Great, another headache.

Maybe talking to Lena isn’t such a bad idea. Who knows, she might even prove sympathetic given her experience with leadership.

“Who is it?” Lena calls sharply as Alex raps against the door to her office. She’s probably interrupting something, but Alex can’t bring herself to feel bad. Not given all the times Lena has caused her grief.

“Danvers. Alex.”

A pause. “Come in.”

Indeed, Lena is hunched over the desk, studying a petri dish closely, laptop and papers pushed to the far side to create a mini clear area for her to work.

Lena frowns at the dish, tilting it to one side.

“Anything I can help with?” Alex offers. For all her annoyingness Lena is an astonishingly brilliant scientist. Engineer. Really all things technical.

“Only if you can go back in time,” Lena says. “The specimen were doing fabulously. They should have been ready for extraction and mass replication in a day. But they appear to have been compromised.”

Sighing with frustration Lena straightens her posture, taking Alex in directly.

“But I’m guessing you didn’t come for a food chain update Captain.”

“Not exactly, though it is not entirely unrelated.”

Lena arches an eyebrow. It’s enough for Alex to power forward, setting the stack of reports on the edge of the desk.

“These are reports on the status of the _Beacon_ ,” Alex begins. “As you can see, it’s a lot. And that’s before considering the food setback.”

“You want help.” It’s a statement more than a question. Lena pauses. “Does this mean you are conceding?”

In spite of her mental preparation, the question pricks Alex’s pride. It hurts to lose, even if it is by choice.

“I prefer to think of it as a partnership,” Alex replies. “Front of the house, back of the house.”

“I’m not just going to be your figurehead.”

“I know.”

Lena’s eyes narrow again. Alex can practically see the wheels spinning, trying to figure out the angle. But there’s no angle, Alex thinks. Just a similar desire to turn back the clock, to make different decisions such as not engaging in this weird pissing contest over leadership. She wishes she could pinpoint where it went wrong. Was it in those initial hours in space when everyone needed a sense of community and purpose and they self-formed groups to manage the ship and keep their minds occupied? Or perhaps it came sooner, when the process of boarding people fell apart and they began admitting anyone who knew another confirmed passenger of the _Beacon_.

No, Alex thinks. Further back yet. The Children of Liberty. Without those morons there would still be an earth. No one would be thinking of ways to extend the food supply, no committees would have formed, no one would have decided they needed to replicate the political bullshit that lead to the end of earth and humanity. For all their opportunity to make a fresh start why did they have to put the same failed systems in place?

Lena studies Alex, still uncertain. The edges of her mouth curl and she turns with a half-laugh, half-bark.

“Figures you would step ahead just as things are looking bad,” Lena says.

“What do you mean?”

Lena gestures to the reports.

“I bet somewhere in that stack is surveillance on my work. You already knew the samples had failed. Now you don’t have to deal with rationing, or the possibility that we might not all make it.”

“That’s absurd.”

Alex could kick herself. Of course, Lena would suspect the worse, it’s literally the Luthor M.O. That’s how they did so well under the old system. Really it was no wonder Lena didn’t see the problem with repeating that pattern.

“You know what, never mind,” Alex says, scooping up the reports. “I shouldn’t have bothered you. I’m probably violating some kind of rule against speaking to the competition.” She means the comment as a kind of joke, but it comes out with a sharp edge that makes Lena’s expression turn from uncertain to hard.

“I don’t think us working together is a good idea. Something needs to change fundamentally for us to survive. We can’t think like the DEO.”

“I suppose that’s TBD,” Alex replies. “I’ll see you around.”

As if either of them had a choice. The door closes smoothly behind her. The air lightens in the slightly more open space of the corridor. Alex is so wrapped in thought she doesn’t even notice Kara hovering just outside the bridge.

“Geez!” Alex exclaims. “What are you doing here?”

“Hoping to talk to you,” Kara says. She seems pale, Alex thinks. But perhaps an after-effect of losing her superpowers. Best not to draw attention to that fact when she already appears so self-conscious, glancing around as if someone might yell at her to leave. Alex’s heart surges with sympathy as Kara fumbles with the pen and paper she’s carrying. Poor girl just wants to feel like herself again.

“Now is actually not a great time,” Alex says. She’s been gone too long already. Out of the corner of her eye Brainy seems to be motioning aggressively for her attention. “I’ve got to reset our course to Argo and that’s going to take hours of calculations…”

“Argo?” Kara’s voice brightens with interest. She pushes her glasses up her nose and leans forward. “Is that where we’re headed then?”

“Yeah. But this old ship is slow and out of date. Plus, with the drift caused by the earth’s explosion…” Kind of a callous thing to mention, but Kara appears unbothered. Them arriving in Argo as quickly as possible is even more a priority if their food stores are going to be stretched. She will have to discuss shortcuts with Brainy. Maybe an asteroid belt they can weave through.

“Right, right,” Kara says spinning the pen in one hand. “This makes sense.”

“Great.” Alex leans in, kissing Kara on the forehead. “See you tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

Kara flashes her a smile and Alex swears it’s the first genuine smile since they left earth’s atmosphere.

Good. At least one of them is having a good day.

By the time she’s helped Brainy re-enter coordinates her shift is long over and the hallways quiet in the artificial night. Alex scarcely undresses, falling into her bunk in half pjs, half DEO uniform.

When the alarm goes off she has the usual irritation that she must have set it too early before remembering there is no sun in this part of space. What happens when the battery dies on the clock, Alex wonder wryly. She imagines she could sleep for a straight twelve hours easily before realizing. With any luck, they will survive long enough that she won’t find out. Maybe in Argo she won’t need an alarm clock. She can sleep all she wants there.

Alex spins around the bathroom in her modified morning routine. Brush the teeth, fix the hair, straighten the edges of her rumpled uniform jacket. She really should have at least hung that up last night. But this is good enough. Alex has kept up appearances better than most of the DEO agents aboard.

As she strolls through the wide corridor before the bridge a few people stare. Alex straightens her posture. Even more than before she needs to look the part of a leader. Try to reassert control over this social experiment while she can.

The officers on the bridge also stare as she enters. Brainy rushes over.

“Geez Brainy, is it that obvious I slept in this shirt?” Alex hisses. “What is going on?”

“You what? No.” Brainy leans his head in. “I take it you haven’t checked the feed yet.”

“No.”

Hand on her back, he guides Alex to the nearest monitor. The morning feed is already up and Alex can’t decide which of the two all-ship notices is worse. The one by Lena Luthor, outlining her platform and food situation, or the one from Kara, which appears to be a newsletter of sorts, the top headline screaming _All aboard to Argo!_

“What the fuck,” Alex mutters. “I told Kara that in confidence.”

“It would appear Kara didn’t get the memo on that,” Brainy says. “The entire ship is atwitter about this plan for Argo. I’ve heard more than a few of our own team that seem…disgruntled by their lack of input into the decision.”

Alex’s temples throbbed. This is exactly why you couldn’t trust anyone. Why she never should have capitulated to control.

“Skip ahead,” Alex said. “I don’t need a lecture. What happens now?”

Brainy cocks his head to one side.

“You…you want my advice?”

“Yes, Brainy, I do.”

_That’s how desperate this has become_. But Alex holds that part back. The alien beams with pride before turning serious.

“Well, naturally this revelation, although obvious to anyone who spent even a moment beforehand considering our options, has thrown many into a panic. After fleeing earth from an anti-alien group, they find we are about to become the aliens. With the exception of Supergirl.”

“Skip ahead further,” Alex says.

“Right, right. The Argo news in conjunction with concerns about food and Ms. Luthor’s increased pressure means you cannot hope to avoid this election. I predict an eighty-three percent chance that Ms. Luthor will win.”

“I’m at seventeen percent??”

“No,” Brainy says, his forehead furrowed deeply. “Your chances stand at roughly five percent. I estimate that Kara’s newsletter and former role as Supergirl give her a twelve percent chance of being elected to lead. That’s without her declaring a run,” Brainy adds.

“Oh my god,” Alex says.

“What happens then?”

“Oh well my powers of deduction are substantially weakened the further out you wish me to extrapolate.”

“Try.”

“Ms. Luthor’s position makes it clear she would leave our destination up to a popular vote. Based upon the intelligence of the _Beacon’s_ population, trust of aliens, general knowledge of space…” Brainy trails off.

“We’re all going to die aren’t we,” Alex finishes.

“This type of mathematics is highly unstable,” Brainy says. “Multiple variables could change the entire universe of outcomes. But yes. The most likely scenario would be that we seek out a more or less uninhabited earth-like planet, which would of course be quite the journey. We were lucky to get this vessel launched into space, but it cannot survive a journey of the duration we would need.”

Alex lets the words on the screen blur as she shifts her gaze to the oversized pilot window. The darkness really would swallow them whole.

“I should have done this differently,” she says, to herself more than anyone.

“Ah yes, the eternal hope,” Brainy agrees. “Veer this ship a few degrees to the right and you might get your wish.”

“What?” Alex turns sharply as Brainy gives her a big grin. His smile fades as he realizes her confusion.

“It was a joke. I forget you don’t understand quantum physics. Trust me, it’s really quite humorous.”

“Why a few degrees to the right?”

“There’s a black hole,” Brainy says, pointing at an invisible dark space in the black sky.

“It’s an old joke that the best way to the past is the one place where there is no space. The nuance of the joke is difficult to explain to someone of your intellect, but I assure you it only improves the humor.”

“Is that true?” Alex asks, ignoring the inadvertent jab. “You can time travel us?”

In retrospect Alex wonders why she didn’t think of it sooner. After all, that’s how she first encountered Brainy, when he time traveled into present day with Groan-El and Co. The weight of the lousy morning begins to rise. This can all be redone. Mistakes erased, new choices made, wrong turns avoided.

“How would it work?”

“I assure you, the comment was made in jest,” Brainy says. “The theory is there, but to my knowledge, which is extensive, it remains untested. The calculations would be astronomical what with the spaghettification upon entering the void and the unknown physics of the interior …”

Brainy whistles. “To study such a thing would be a dream. But alas, nothing exists within, and so I cannot.” He pauses. “Are you…ok with this morning’s news then? I may return to my duties knowing I have consoled you as a proper friend should?”

“Yes Brainy. I feel appropriately consoled.”

“Outstanding.”

As the alien retreats Alex once again becomes aware of all the eyes on her. Studiously, she ignores the whispers, trying to find the hole of existence within the empty sky. It’s invisible until she thinks to pull up the radar, at which point the gap in particles becomes glaringly obvious. Brainy is right. Only a few degrees to the right. They would reach the edge within hours.

Whispers quite as Alex looks around. Everyone else is wrapped up in gossip. Only Brainy would notice a change to their course. The choice seems clear. Either they drag this out and die eventually of starvation or dehydration or suffocation, depending on which system fails first; or die much sooner trying to set things right. Trying to fix it so they never end up on this blasted tin can in space.

Alex stands, smoothing her uniform in pace.

“Brainy,” she calls. “I forgot to mention that Nia asked to see you.”

Brainy’s eyes brighten. “Nia Nal?”

“Yes. I believe she had something important to tell you. She said she would be waiting in the library.”

It’s a low blow, but also the one guaranteed trick to work. Brainy’s soft spot for Nia means he will leave without suspecting a thing. And he will wait for a gentlemanly amount of time before beginning to search the ship for her. It should be enough time to redirect their course and reset fate.

“Thank you, Captain. May I…request time to go find Miss Nal?”

“Of course,” Alex says with a wave of her hand. _See how generous I can be_. “Take all the time you need.”

Alex waits a few moments before wandering over to the central computer that plots their trajectory. Aimlessly she punches in the new coordinates. No one seems to notice or care. Imperceptibly the _Beacon_ shifts. Hopefully anyone that notices will attribute it to drift.

The timer indicates two and a half hours until they reach their destination. Alex nods for another officer to stand guard. Just in case this doesn’t work, she has an apology to make with Kara.


	8. Nessa

_Alex Danvers clamps her jaw, rendering an already prominent bone structure even more so. She could be attractive if she weren’t such a putz. But instead, she’s nothing more than bully. A self-righteous one at that. Quite the combination._

_“I’m going,” Nessa says. Awkwardly, Nia stands as well, mouthing the words “I’m sorry” to an unfamiliar blonde whose name escapes Nessa right now. The rage builds as she walks the long, white corridor. In front of their door Nessa turns to face her younger sister, mouth open._

Nessa gasps. Her body is covered in a cool sweat. A few feet away, Nia breathes easily. _The Nal sisters asleep_. It takes a real long day for that to happen. The kind of day where you see the earth explode. Too soon?

Nessa shakes her head as she pulls back the covers. Dark humor doesn’t look good on her. She’s deflecting. Maybe a glass of water will soothe her nerves. And that dream… Nessa frowns. That’s no past that she knows. She’ll have to ask Nia later, see if somehow she is superimposing herself over one of Nia’s friends. She supposes she should be thankful she is only dreaming of a mundane lover’s quarrel in front of friends instead of reliving the horror of the past twenty-four hours.

The water seems to do the trick and after breathing in tandem with Nia’s calm energy for a few moments, Nessa drifts back to sleep. She’s woken by the overhead lights flashing. From the other bed Nia stares at the lights in alarm. Static fills the air.

“Attention resident of the _Beacon_ , this is Captain Danvers.”

Danvers? Wasn’t that the name of the person in the dream? Nia knows these people, so Nessa opens her mouth to ask, but the voice over the speaker continues.

“I know everyone is feeling scared and helpless today. We have a whole ship to maintain and just us to rely on. In light of that everyone will be assessed for valuable skills and assigned to work in maintenance, food production, security, or cleaning. Please head to the bridge for assessment.”

A high-pitched screech follows the announcement before the speaker falls quiet.

“We should –”

“Who is –”

Nessa pauses. “You first,” she says.

“We should get going to the bridge!” Nia says, already out of bed and fumbling with her bag for some clean clothes. “You know all the good assignments are going to go fast!”

“Ok,” Nessa says. “But, uh. Captain Danvers; is that Alex Danvers?”

“Yeah!”

“Do you know her?”

“Yeah. I mean kind of. She’s Kara’s sister. You know, Kara, the one I work with. Also Supergirl,” Nia adds with a giggle.

“Oh. So, you’re not, like, close friends with her or anything?”

“With Kara?”

“Alex Danvers.”

“Oh, I guess not really. Why?”

“No reason,” Nessa says. “I had a weird dream.”

Nia pauses at that, wagging her finger at her older sister in an exaggerated fashion. “You know the rule about dreams!”

“That only applies to dreams about the future,” Nessa retorts.

“Well fine. But seriously hurry up!”

Nia is right to have rushed them out to the bridge, Nessa thinks. Already a line is forming. A slim woman, short hair slicked back, that jaw tense with concentration just as it was in the dream. Alex Danvers gazes ahead without recognition, pulling the odd individual or two out of the line.

Nessa tries not to stare. It’s unquestionably the woman she saw in her dream. The blonde from the dream follows close at hand, taking notes for the Captain. They pause at Nia who gets the special out-of-line treatment. Nessa swears Captain Danvers stares her down a little too long before leaving. She swears they’ve never met. Those called out in advance disappear into the pilothouse and slowly, very slowly, the line moves forward.

It must be close to lunch by the time Nessa reaches the front. Her stomach complains loudly about the lack of food and she’s had to pee for well over an hour. Nessa hops from foot to foot outside the closed door. An officer in DEO apparel stands outside as if they expect someone to try and force their way in.

_Ridiculous, all of it_. They should have let everyone pick their role instead of assigning it in this weirdly YA dystopian society format.

Finally, the steel door opens and the women who stood before her in line exits.

“Next!” comes the call.

The interior of the bridge is needlessly dark. The lights have been turned down to dim and shading panels cover what would be a large bay window. A single chair faces the Captain’s chair which is swiveled away from the window. Behind, a number of other chairs hold those that were pulled aside earlier. It gives the effect of being sent before a grand jury and immediately sets Nessa on edge.

Gingerly she takes a seat in the open chair.

“Name?” asks the Captain.

“Yes, I’d love to start with introductions,” Nessa says. “I’m Vanessa Nal.” A bit of scratching of notes is all that follows.

“Age and former occupation?”

“I’d really love to know with whom I’m speaking,” Nessa says.

Someone coughs. The Captain leans forward. “We have a lot of people to assess today,” she says. “I’m sure you understand we don’t have time for this. Age and former occupation?”

In the dim light Nia is visible only as an outline, but her cringing figure makes her discomfort clear. Fine. Only to not embarrass her younger sister who seems to be in good with the power-hungry Captain.

“Thirty. I am…I was an attorney.”

More scratching.

“Please list any skills you have pertaining to engineering, biology, medicine, athletics, or other if you believe they will be useful here.”

“I am trained in mediation, process management –”

“I’m sorry,” the Captain interrupts. “Skills you believe are useful to life aboard the _Beacon_.”

“I believe those are useful skills. This ship is comprised of people and people need rules and individuals to interpret those rules, to resolve disputes…”

“No useful skills,” the Captain says, interrupting again.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“And you are aboard the _Beacon_ because…?”

“My sister,” Nessa says. What is this question getting at?

“That would be Nia Nal?”

“Yes.”

“You were a late addition, correct?”

“I…guess. I don’t know what that means.”

A voice chimes up from the back. “Captain, records confirm Vanessa Nal was not on the original manifest.”

“Very well,” Captain Danvers replies. “No skills, no priority. You are lucky to be on board. I believe cleaning crew is where you belong. After all, that can be taught. All in favor?”

There’s a succession of “ayes” during which Nia’s head remains ducked.

“Excellent,” Captain Danvers says. “You’ll report below deck first thing tomorrow morning. Oh-five-hundred. Agent Jackson will be heading up that department.”

“Cleaning?”

“Yes. Rooms. Toilets. That kind of thing.” The Captain gazes at Nessa with a kind of amusement. “No one gets a free ride. To stay aboard the _Beacon_ , you work. If you fail to report for duty, you will have to answer to me.”

Someone escorts Nessa out of the room. She walks blindly past the remaining line to the unit she shares with her sister.

Her stomach rumbles but Nessa doesn’t even feel the pain anymore. It’s as if her gut agrees that this is all incredibly unfair and, frankly, bullshit. Apparently, that dream was right about at least one thing: Alex Danvers is truly a self-righteous, arrogant putz. Whoever had that falling out with her before dodged a bullet. Imagine being a relationship with that.

The longer Nessa thinks on the entire process the more indignant she becomes. Sure, Nia is great, wonderful even, but other than being friends with Supergirl what skills does she have to contribute? Uncertain dreams about an uncertain, ever-changing future? Nessa can at least dream of the past, maybe find clues to their long-term survival.

_Of course, it would have helped if you’d mentioned the dreaming thing_. Fair. The jury of her peers never knew she might be able to help in a less conventional way. But that’s her secret to keep. At the cost of cleaning toilets apparently.

Nessa grits her teeth. The indignity has removed any desire she had to meet others aboard the _Beacon_. She will probably have to settle for making friends with the other white collar professionals that Captain Danvers deems worthy of toilet scrubbing.

Nia doesn’t return until late, well after Nessa has secluded herself in a pile of blankets. Nia moves about the room in a half-hearted effort to be quiet, clearing her throat. But Nessa can’t bring herself to face her sister. She pretends to sleep, all the while knowing Nia watches, fully aware Nessa is not actually sleeping.

_“Robert Markel. Call me Bob.” The young man, probably a few years old than Nessa but with the natural buoyancy of an optimist, smiles. Despite their unpleasant circumstances Nessa smiles back. Bob Markel will be a good person to know a few months into this journey when everyone else has lost their ability to pretend things will be ok._

_“Vanessa. Friends can me Nessa.”_

_“Pleasure to meet you.” Somehow when he says it, Nessa believes him. Bits of rock and debris float in an ever-expanding cloud, from the place where the earth once was out towards the edges of the galaxy._

_“I feel like I should cry or something,” Nessa says. “But it feels so unreal.”_

_“That’s because it’s not real. Not really.”_

_“How do you mean?”_

_Intense hazel eyes seem to peer straight through Nessa’s exterior into her mind._

_“Your people are from Naltor.”_

_“That’s right,” Ness says in surprise. “How did you –”_

_“I’m from a planet near there,” Bob says with a smile. Instantly Nessa’s confusion evaporates. Of course. It’s only reasonable to expect other aliens to seek refuge with the DEO and board the Beacon._

_“Hope is a funny thing,” Bob continues. “You know from your dreams how awful the world, nay, the universe can be. And yet what do we never lose?”_

_“Hope?”_

_“Bingo.”_

_“What does that have to do with reality?”_

_“Sometimes nothing. Sometimes everything.”_

_For some reason Nessa finds his riddle endearing. Normally she wouldn’t have time to talk in circles but right now it’s soothing. A break from staring into an empty future. As if reading her mind Bob continues._

_“We need a purpose. Structure. Governance.” He glances at Nessa. “You could do that.”_

_“That’s…not a bad idea.”_

_“I’ll make sure people know. Put themselves on different committees. Have a sense of ownership.”_

_“What will you do?”_

Nessa rises early the next morning, slipping out before Nia can pin her down for an apology that doesn’t change anything. The sense of betrayal from the previous day has been replaced by a lingering feeling of loss, an emptiness carried over from her dream. She watched the earth crumble in the sky but there was no conversation with a stranger after that. Perhaps she can find a list of passengers. See if there even is a Robert Markel. Or perhaps space is changing the nature of her dreams. Possibly these are things that could have happened? It doesn’t make much sense, so Nessa dismisses the thought.

Nessa enters the cleaning bay with a lowered head, but oddly feels her spirits rise as she takes in the others assigned to this team. The Captain appears to harbor a particular dislike for certain professionals, but gathered together the group chats about politics, law, and philosophy, temporarily forgetting their current purpose.

The entrance of Agent Jackson brings them all back to reality. The DEO agent, a pimple-faced young man with the walk of a teenager that hasn’t quite grown into their body, whistles for attention. It’s not until a few of the older people clap their hands that everyone quiets for their scarcely post-pubescent team leader.

“I’ve got assignments here,” Jackson squeaks. He clears his throat and continues in a more normal tone. “No one gets special treatment; no special requests will be accepted. There is no trading of duties allowed and I will be dropping by to ensure you are in the designated location.” This all sounds rehearsed and the way he stares at the ceiling in concentration only confirms that suspicion.

“I will post the list now. Supplies can be picked up from the closet in the back.”

The young agent releases a breath and sticks the list on the wall next to an oversized map of the ship. Beside each of their names is a combination of numbers and letters. Nessa has to refer to the map to figure out where she is expected to go. She breathes a sigh of relief. Not the bridge. She doesn’t think she could handle Captain Danvers smirking as she whisks a mop about. She also won’t be in the residential wing near the unit she shares with Nia. Instead it’s another part of the ship that appears to house storage rooms and other miscellany.

Nessa walks quickly to the sector she’s been assigned, avoiding the gaze of anyone walking by. It would be pity and that’s not something she wants. Fortunately, this area is largely deserted. She knocks on each door before opening, just in case someone is around. It soon becomes automatic, knock and open, no need to wait. So when someone responds with a slightly accented “Yes?” on the eighth or ninth door, Nessa nearly jumps out of her skin.

“Uh, sorry, I’m, uh, here to clean,” Nessa stutters. The door slides open revealing a pale, dark-haired woman. A woman that Nessa cannot help but note is extremely attractive, making her feel all the more homely in her cleaning scrubs that hang loosely off her body in a most unflattering manner.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hello,” the woman responds, cocking her head. “Do you need me to leave or…?”

“No, I can work around you.”

She can, but it’s more awkward than Nessa anticipates, especially as she tries to move behind the desk. The woman laughs, standing and stepping aside.

“Perhaps I’ll just be in the corner for a few minutes,” she says. “By the way, what is your name? It feels rude for you to be cleaning my office and here I don’t even know your name.”

“Nessa. Nessa Nal.”

“Nal? Any relation to Nia?”

“My sister.” Nessa keeps her eyes focused on the floor.

“Well it doesn’t seem fair they have you cleaning. I’m Lena Luthor by the way. Care for a drink?”

Nessa freezes, unsure if this is some kind of test or trick. Will this get her in even more trouble? She’d hate to see what falls below cleaning duty.

“They have me sequestered way on this side of the ship for some reason. I value the quiet but it’s a bit lonely, and I do my best thinking with someone else around.”

Lena’s voice contains a slight strain. Nessa knows that tone. She’s lonely.

“A drink would be amazing.”

Lena beams. “Oh, I’m so glad! Seriously I wonder what I did to offend our Captain Danvers and earn a spot so far from anyone else for my research.”

Nessa laughs and eagerly accepts the glass of whiskey. It burns soothingly, scraping down the rough edges of the past several days. Lena kicks off her shoes, resting her feet on the desk in a reclined position.

“You do research?” Nessa asks. “Of what variety?”

“Any and everything. Right now I’m looking for ways to create a sustainable food supply, seeing as we don’t know how long our journey might be.”

That thought causes Nessa to tip what remains of the whiskey down her throat. It’s a bit much and the burn of the alcohol harsher.

“Oh don’t worry,” Lena says, mistaking the rushed drink for concern of starvation. “I’m brilliant, or so everyone tells me. I’ll figure something out.”

“Honestly I’m more afraid of that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve obviously been determined to be important. While I…” With the whiskey numbing her nature self-consciousness Nessa gestures at the unflattering uniform. “Well, let’s just say I didn’t endure law school and the bar exam to clean floors and be last in line for meals.”

Lena cocks her head. “You don’t want to be here?”

“In a word – no. Don’t get me wrong, it beats being dead. But it’s been tough.”

“Well,” Lena says, raising her glass. “To friends making things easier. If this is your route, I’ll make sure to be around at this time. It may be tough, but at least we have each other for a sympathetic ear. Not to mention the only known whiskey in the universe.”

“Cheers to that.”


	9. Kara

“You can’t tell Lena.” Kara can only stare at Alex. People grasp on to friends and loved ones, some already crying, others red-faced, all waiting. Large red numbers countdown the final minutes left for the rapidly shrinking blue and green planet.

“Alex, she’s going to find out. There are only so many places on this ship.”

“I know it sounds crazy,” Alex says. “But it’s been three years you’ve known her, right? Supergirl doesn’t have to be a big deal here, you can be Kara and we can pretend Supergirl is off scouting or something.”

Kara bites the corner of her lip, brow furrowing. “But…I mean, I’ve wanted to tell her for so long. I thought this could be it. Get the truth out there and be honest.”

“It’s not going to go well. I know Lena, how people like Lena think. This will be a betrayal to her. Kara, we need Lena with us to survive. She needs to be focused, and she needs her friend, Kara Danvers. Please. Do this for me?”

“Alright,” Kara says. “But I want to tell her someday.”

“Someday,” Alex agrees. “Just not now. Or in the next few days.”

The crowd by the window gasps as a light fills the window. Alex glances towards the bridge.

“I need to go,” Alex says.

“But…this…You don’t want…” Kara isn’t even sure what she’s trying to say, only that the destruction of Alex’s home planet should warrant a bit more of a reaction from her sister.

“I’ve seen it,” Alex says abruptly.

“But…” _what about the rest?_ Kara isn’t even sure what that means. The aftermath, the necessary processing of the disaster. But of course, Alex doesn’t want to think about that. She’s an avoider. Always has been. For now, Kara lets her leave. She’ll make her talk later. A cool hand falls on her elbow, making Kara jump.

“How are you holding up?” Lena’s eyebrows rise upwards in sympathy, as if somehow only Kara’s planet, and not the one that was home to Lena, has been destroyed.

“Ok,” Kara replies automatically. She smiles before remembering the context. “This is weird.”

“Tell me about it.”

The thought of Supergirl rises like an itch from the back of Kara’s mind. Rao, she’d like to say something. Now feels like the right time. The end of one era, the start of a new one. One where she can be honest with her best friend.

“Lena, I…” Kara begins. The image of Alex’s disappointment prevents her from continuing.

“Yes?”

Kara shakes her head. “Never mind. I forgot.”

“You should get some sleep,” Lena says, placing her hand on Kara’s shoulder again. Beneath her shirt the skin burns hot. “We all should.”

The clocks in the ship count around and around in twenty-four hour cycles, but it all looks the same to Kara. Alex sets up a process of organizing the passengers. As she discusses the skills needed to stay afloat, engineering, medicine, biology, chemistry, Kara can’t help thinking how she has none of that. Writing has always been her outlet. But apparently no one needs writers on the _Beacon_.

“Oh, well of course you will be on the bridge with me,” Alex says with a laugh when Kara finally works up the nerve to ask. It doesn’t seem fair, this special treatment, especially with the brusque manner in which other traditionally successful individuals are assigned to the ship’s menial tasks.

As the power from earth’s sun drains from her body Kara feels the world slowing down, and herself with it. Colors dim until they are all shades of grey, from the pitch black of the sky outside to the chrome white floors. The edges of her body lose feeling and it threatens to creep into her soul, rendering her void of emotion. Yet Alex continues to act as if everything is normal, as though they were on a DEO mission and Kara still Supergirl. Kara can’t talk to Lena, she’s promised Alex to keep her superhero identity under wraps while Lena fusses with bacteria in her lab. But there’s one sympathetic ear.

“Nia, I don’t know if I can make it another day with Alex,” Kara says. The younger woman smiles sadly.

“Being a bit intense for you?”

“She’s just…not dealing with any of the trauma! She’s so focused forward and on control, new status quo, etc, etc.” Kara waves her hands helplessly. “All I want is to feel normal again. For us to sit down and eat a meal together. To talk about boys…or girls. Anything!”

Nia bites her lip and looks away.

“Did I say something wrong?” Kara asks.

“No…” Nia giggles awkwardly. “Maybe you could do all that. Dinner. You know my sister dates women too.” Nia’s voice rises with suggestion, though she doesn’t go so far as to spell it out.

“Maybe you and your sister could join us,” Kara adds, the idea growing in appeal with each passing second. “We could play games then.”

“Naturally,” Nia agrees. “You can’t do that with just two people.”

Kara feels her spirits rising. This will work. Bring Alex back into focus, back to a place where she remembers the people she loves, where she takes time to relax.

“Tonight?” Kara asks. “My unit. I’ll go by the kitchen and get something good.”

“Awesome.”

As predicted, Alex is less-than-thrilled when Kara suggests their date night. But she presses and something shifts in Alex’s eyes.

“Alright,” Alex concedes. “I’m doing this for you. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Pfft,” Kara replies. “It’s not a date. Remember?”

“Right.”

It’s far too late for Kara to not get her hopes up. They can regain a semblance of normality.

Kara has to pull some strings to get into the nicer dehydrated food. But when staff learn it’s for a dinner hosted, in part, by the Captain, they relent. Portions warmed and rehydrated Kara can only wait. Alex arrives late, but the false start time Kara provided means she still beats Nia and her sister. The Nal siblings knock only a few moments later.

Nia’s sister bears a striking resemble to Nia, though she’s taller and more waifish, and effect probably heightened by her long, straight hair. But the eyes are identical, dark and thoughtful, revealing a mind always at work.

“Kara, Alex, this is my sister Nessa.” Nia beams. Nessa extends a pale hand.

“Come on! We’re going to be friends,” Kara says. “This is a hugging space.” She dives in, a bit aggressively perhaps, and Nessa staggers slightly under what remains even without superpowers a strong embrace.

“Alex.” Alex stiffly extends a hand. _Well that won’t do_.

“Food’s ready!” Kara says. Her voice strains and Nia looks away in embarrassment. For a few moments the sounds of chewing fill the space as they each assess the next move. How to get them talking? She doesn’t know much about their guest. But before she can ask a question it is Alex, of all people, that speaks up.

“How are you liking the _Beacon_?” Alex asks Nessa with an intent stare.

“It’s a spaceship,” Nessa replies. “Honestly not someplace I ever expected to be living.”

“You know Alex almost got stuck living her before,” Kara says. She can tell she’s rambling but is helpless to stop. “Of course, it wasn’t the _Beacon_ then, but a prisoner transport ship some people were trying to use to send aliens back to their planets. Alex boarded to set the aliens free and they launched. She risked her life to bring them home. Well, to keep them home. On earth.”

Kara pauses for a breath and Alex blinks.

“You’re half-alien like Nia, right?” Kara continues.

“I am.”

“Guess I’m the odd one out,” Alex remarks.

“Only halfway. Besides, we’re all aliens now,” Nessa says.

“Yep,” Kara agrees. “All in this together!”

“Though some of us clean floors while others can get real rehydrated food prepared in their units.”

The room stills.

“How are you enjoying cleaning duty?” Alex asks.

“How would you enjoy it?” The cutting comment leaves the room temporarily silent.

“I’d accept my assignment with grace,” Alex replies

Nessa scoffs. “No matter. At least I have interesting company.”

“Right. The other stuffed-shirts that couldn’t contribute anything useful.”

“Exactly. Plus Lena Luthor whom you seem to have secreted in the further corner of the ship. Now there’s someone I’d trust to be in charge of things.”

There’s a vein in Alex’s face that Kara has only seen once before. At Nessa’s words the vessel turns a dark shade of purple, pulsing slightly against her hairline.

“Lena has a job to do,” Alex finally manages. “Same as you. Same as me.”

“Right.”

Somehow the night continues from there. The tension never leaves, but dissipates slowly throughout the unit as they force their way through two games of hearts. Nessa wins both hands, and sensing Alex’s rising frustration Kara has to admit the night has not been quite the respite she’d hoped for.

“Well, Nessa, you’ve obviously the winner so perhaps we call it a night,” Kara suggests, adding in a yawn for effect.

“That’s a good idea,” Nessa says, rising. She turns to leave with no further words. Nia frowns, mouthing “sorry” before following her sister out the door. Kara cringes, waiting for Alex’s wrath.

Alex takes a deep breath and points emphatically towards the now-closed door.

“I am never doing that for you again,” she says. “Now, I have to go.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah. I need to find Agent Jackson.”

“But…”

The door swishes shut again, dirty dishes and irregular stacks of cards the only remaining sign of this evening’s company.

Kara sleeps in late the next morning. Unlike most people, she doesn’t have an official shift. Alex lets her drop by the bridge when she wants, leaving when she wants.

“You put in overtime as Supergirl,” she insists, when Kara raises the disparity. “You’ve earned a rest.”

Kara tries to help out as much as possible, taking notes, getting coffee, or at least the warm brown liquid that passes for coffee. She pops her head onto the bridge.

“Coffee run?” she calls. A slew of orders come back.

“Black!”

“Two sugars!”

“Cream, one sugar!”

“Black,” yells Alex. “Thanks Kara,” she adds.

Kara bustles down the corridor, pleased to have a task on which to focus. In the mini-kitchen she assembles the line of cups as the machine brews. The sugar bin is nearly empty so she skips to the storage closet, opening the door.

“Oh Rao!” Kara yells, jumping backwards.

“Shit!”

Despite having just seen her the night before, it takes Kara a moment to recognize Nessa in the green scrubs, her pale face blotchy as if she’d been crying.

“I’m…sorry. I wanted to get more sugars.”

“Right.” Sniffling, Nessa turns and grabs a handful of the small pouches.

“This is probably a stupid question, but are you alright?”

“Peachy,” Nessa says. “Can’t you tell? I’m hiding in a closet.” She gives a short, bark-like laugh. “And here I thought I escaped the closet years ago.”

“What’s wrong?” Behind her, the machine whistles. “Let me get that, but I am not letting you go anywhere until we talk.”

Nessa stands by quietly as Kara pours out the thin liquid. The mildly nauseating scent fills the small room, but no one is drinking coffee for the taste these days.

“I thought you were usually on the other side of the ship,” Kara says as she mixes in sugars and creams. “Near Lena?”

“Apparently your sister didn’t like that. So now I’m here.”

Kara frowns. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well…ok fine, maybe it sounds a little like her. But she always has her reasons.” Carefully Kara collects the four cups.

“Let me help,” Nessa says.

“Thanks.”

They walk in silence. Nessa pauses as Kara enters the bridge. With hesitation she follows.

“Coffee!” Kara calls brightly. Those with orders saunter over. Alex is last to pick up hers. Kara can’t help noticing how she lingers on Nessa, searching for…something. It’s not like Alex to hold these types of grudges.

Alex sips the liquid and grimaces. As she turns she touches her stomach briefly with a wince.

Kara knows that move. Alex has a stomachache. Her sister has a gut of iron, so a stomachache means one thing: Alex is hiding something. Secrecy has never agreed with her. Perhaps it has something to do with Lena; after all, that’s when she really lost her cool the night before.

The more Kara thinks on it the more sense it makes. Her insistence that Kara hide her Supergirl identity, moving Lena so far from the bridge, her anger at discovering Nessa had been talking to her.

_What does Lena know that she doesn’t want getting out?_

Only one way to learn.

The residential halls buzz with energy and noise that vanishes once Kara passes into the delta sector. Despite the symmetrical layout, the unlabeled units make finding Lena more difficult than anticipated. Kara tries to listen for her friend before remembering her super-hearing isn’t going to work. Almost by accident she finds her friend, tripping into her as she rounds a blind corner.

“Kara!” Lena exclaims, her graceful dodge the only thing preventing them from direct collision.

“Uh, hi.”

“What brings you around?” Lena asks.

“You actually.” Kara can’t shake her embarrassment. Her skin feels hot and she can’t seem to look Lena in the eyes without her throat closing.

“Well I’m delighted to hear it,” Lena responds, apparently oblivious to Kara’s torment. “Let me show you to my lab.” Lena takes her by the elbow, leading her back in the direction she came.

“What does Alex have you working on?” Kara asks.

“Fungus,” Lena says wryly. “Sexy, I know. But it’s our best potential source of sustainable food. If I can get the cells to reach critical mass. It’s been oddly resistant though.”

The lab turns out to be little more than a gutted office, desk pushed into the corner and a long table set up on one side acting as the workspace. Petri dishes line the wall, meticulously labeled with different combinations of numbers and letters. At the very edge, a microscope, where Lena places herself with a small frown.

“It looks very official,” Kara says.

“Kind of you to say so. I’m afraid it’s all rather rustic.”

Lena peers at the sample, frown deepening. Perhaps it’s the food situation that has Alex worried. Kara wasn’t aware until now that they might run out. Her gut twists as she recalls the extra food rations she took for their game night.

“Lena, what do you know?”

“Excuse me?”

“There’s something Alex isn’t telling me. Are we in danger of running out of food?”

“Not in the near-term,” Lena replies. “But don’t worry. If this doesn’t work I plan to get Supergirl to help. Some of her abilities should allow me to work around the lack of advanced equipment.”

“Supergirl can’t help.”

“How do you mean? She told me she’d be on board.”

Kara swallows drily. “Because I’m Supergirl,” she says after a long pause. “And without earth’s sun, my superpowers have faded.”

Unexpectedly Lena laughs. “Very funny Kara.” Her smile fades a watt as she waits for Kara to break, finally dropping as her face pales.

“Kara,” she says. The accusation is clear. Nothing more needs to be said.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No. Because…” Kara’s voice fades. She has no excuse. _Because what?_ Because at first they were friends. Then Lena dated James and it seemed the wrong time. And then the world was ending and Alex insisted she couldn’t say anything. Alex was right, Kara admits. She’s waited too long and now anytime she tells Lena will be the wrong time. The wrong time to tell her about Supergirl, the wrong time to tell her that somewhere along the way a deeper feeling came into play.

“I’m sorry,” Kara repeats. “I’m sorry.”


	10. Lena

Kara leaves with a hurt expression on her face as if she’s just discovered it’s Lena that has been lying to her for the past three years.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_. If Lena couldn’t see the obvious connection between Kara Danvers and Supergirl how the hell could she ever accomplish anything of merit?

Lena releases a frustrated groan between her palms. She needs help. Surely amongst the hundreds of people on the _Beacon_ one can be spared for her research. Especially if it is indeed as essential as Alex claims. She walks purposefully towards the bridge. Truthfully, she hasn’t quite got her bearings for the ship yet, so the brisk pace compensates for what she knows will not be the most direct route.

Lena finally spots the alcove that serves as the break room space for the team on the bridge. Soft voices drift from behind a door, one high in a kind of whimper, the other one quieter, lower, with the sort of soothing cadence mothers use with children before bed. The whimper bears a marked resemblance to the noise Kara makes when surprised with food. She debates stopping, but Kara would likely be mortified at the interruption, especially having gone to the trouble to hide.

She continues forward, realizing only too late that Alex is the most likely confidant behind that door. However, Kara must be talking to someone else, for on the bridge she easily spots Alex bent over a monitor, speaking closely with Brainy. Alex starts at Lena’s appearance.

“Captain,” Lena says by way of announcing herself. Immediately Alex relaxes. Just business.

“What can I do for you?” Alex responds.

“My research is not progressing as quickly as anticipated,” Lena says. “I need more resources.”

Alex frowns. “We are working with limitations here. What do you need?”

“Brainpower. I need another scientist.”

“We can do that. Brainy will go through the roster. Once you’ve selected someone to work with just let us know so we can keep all of the other assignments covered.”

“Will do.”

With an efficient nod, Brainy steps to the side, his palms pressed together in concentration.

“How would you like for me to arrange the appropriate candidates?” he asks. “I can concoct a productivity analysis, provide estimated IQ, or we could go with the standard earth alphabet…”

“A list of resumes will do fine,” Lena says with a laugh. “I don’t suppose you are available?” She has a fondness for Brainy’s literal directness. And his intelligence would certainly be a boon.

“Alas, no,” the alien replies. “But I am most flattered.” He pauses, eyes closed. “I have taken the liberty of selecting the dozen most scientifically knowledgeable individuals on the ship; present company excluded, of course. I shall send their qualifications and history to your inbox straightaway.”

“Thank you Brainy.”

“Anytime, Ms. Luthor.”

As Lena walks past the break room again, the crying from the closet seems to have calmed. For half a second she considers checking whether Kara might still be in there. But the lie, the sheer audacity of it, returns and anger powers her ahead, back to the abandoned portion of the ship.

It takes a full day for Lena to review the files and make a decision. After all, this person will have to be up to the task. There’s a lot at stake. On the brisk walk back to the bridge that familiar blonde head zips out of sight around a corner. Without thinking Lena breaks into a jog, trying to catch her to…What? Instead she runs into Nessa, who glances up from her mop with a guilty expression.

“Hi,” Lena says. There is no way she could mistake Nessa’s dark brown, nearly black tresses with Kara. But then again maybe her mind is playing tricks on her.

“Hi,” Nessa returns, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “I should get back to work.”

Lena has no response to that. The former attorney appeared to be at work already. Lena ducks her head, oddly embarrassed as well, and continues forward, seeking the one creature on this ship that is apparently immune to embarrassment.

“Robert Markel,” Lena says upon spotting her target.

“An interesting choice.”

“You included him on the list. You obviously thought he was up to the task.”

“I do,” Brainy responds indignantly. “I merely observed that he was the non-traditional choice. An engineer as opposed to biologist.”

“I don’t think it’s the biology giving me trouble.”

“Very well. I shall let the Captain know. Robert Markel is officially assigned to your project as of…now.”

Lena nods her appreciation. In the corner of her vision something flashes, but it’s out of view too quick for her to fully perceive. Maybe she’s going crazy.

Slowly turning her head back to Brainy in what she hopes is a casual manner, Lena asks, “Is Kara still working on the bridge?”

“Kara Danvers officially has no assignment,” Brainy responds. “But, yes, we often see her around. If you are looking for her I would recommend finding Vanessa Nal.”

“Nessa?”

“Yes, I have heard her called that name,” Brainy confirms, blissfully unaware of Lena’s confusion. “She cleans the floors and equipment. That sort of thing. Captain Danvers recently had me transfer her from the Delta Sector to the bridge.”

“And now Kara’s working with her?”

Brainy’s forehead crinkles as if he can’t quite believe he is explaining this. For once, Lena agrees with his assessment. She’s feeling a bit slow and stupid all of the sudden. That’s why Nessa was in this part of the ship. And it must have been Kara she spotted.

“Not working,” Brainy says carefully. “She tends to follow her around. They talk quite a bit.” He glances around with a pained expression. “Now, if you’ll forgive me I have to…”

“Go,” Lena says. “I didn’t mean to keep you.”

Lena fights the urge to poke around the corner where she’s sure Kara is hiding. _What good would it accomplish?_ Plus, she has no desire to see or speak to Kara, right? _Right._ Hopefully her name doesn’t come up in the conversations Kara and Nessa must be having. Though it would appear impossible to avoid, seeing as they otherwise have little in common.

Stiffly, Lena exits the bridge, taking care to avoid eye contact with any and every one. An all-too-familiar sensation rises from Lena’s gut, blossoming through her chest and up into her throat. The anguish threatens to suffocate her.

_Betrayed._

Yet again. First Kara, now Nessa. There really is no one aboard this tin can that she can trust. Once again, all alone. Lena tightens her jaw. It had been a mistake to open up to Nessa, just as it was a mistake to open up to Kara. Never again.

It’s for the best, really. There is the food problem to solve. And after that, who knows, but more problems will certainly emerge when their entire lives depend upon keeping this outdated spaceship in working order. She needs to be focused. Who has time for friends anyway?

Robert Markel reports to her makeshift lab within minutes of her call. Excellent. She already feels good about the decision. He’s someone who won’t waste her time. A friendly man of middle age, a bit puffy around the center but light on his feet, he beams as he enters. The engineer takes in the room and it’s equipment with the enthusiasm of a young child, but appropriate restraint as he holds his hands behind his back.

Quickly, Lena lays out the situation. The food shortage, attempts to replicate fungi and algaes brought aboard from earth, the utter lack of results to date. He listens intently, eyes fixed to a point to Lena’s left. When she concludes he stands silently for a moment.

“What do we know about this spaceship?” he asks.

“Um, excuse me?”

“This,” he says, gesturing. “What was it’s original purpose? It does not seem to have been residential. Nor research,” he adds.

“What are you thinking Robert?”

The engineer grins. “First off, call me Bob.” He waves towards the door. “This sector has not been redone like most of the ship.”

“Correct.”

“I couldn’t help but notice the iso-chambers. I’d wager this ship used to be a prison. An alien prison, given that no country on earth had this kind of technology.”

Lena crosses her arms. Intriguing. “Go on.”

“If that’s the case, some of the systems aboard will be set up differently. Imagine earth had prisons in space. Once a prisoner served their sentence and returned, what would you want to ensure?”

_Of course_. Lena feels stupid for not having seen it sooner. Damn the DEO and their secrets about everything. If she’d realized this was a prison she would have approached the modifications differently.

“I’d make sure they weren’t bringing back any alien life. Which in this case would include bacteria and such from earth.”

She gazes around with fresh eyes. The vent in the upper corner catches her eye. Filtration. Literally everything she’s been capturing off clothes and such is being slowly sucked from the room and killed. It explains why the samples appear promising until just before reaching critical mass. That must be the point at which the system detects a threat.

“What do you need to fix it?” Lena asks.

“Access to the core systems,” he responds immediately.

“I’ll get it.” It’s going to be a tough sell to Alex, but this an essential modification. Carefully Lena composes the note to Alex. She leaves the samples alone for now. There is nothing to be done their until the filter is disabled, so time will be better spent mentally rehearsing the pitch for later.

The knock on the door comes promptly at 1900 hours. Whiskey has already been poured into two glasses, an open invitation on Lena’s desk. If Alex hasn’t eaten yet, of which the likelihood is high, this ought to have a persuasive effect. Alex immediately fixes on the amber liquid, eyebrow raised in an unspoken question, grin wavering at the corners of her mouth.

“Must be important,” Alex says, taking a seat without waiting for Lena.

“I just figured a drink after a long day might be appreciated.”

“Right, right,” Alex says with a laugh. She tosses the glass back, her throat bobbing gently. “You need a favor. A big one.”

“I wouldn’t call it a favor,” Lena counters. “Seeing as without it, I cannot deliver the sustainable food supply you have said we need.”

Alex must be tired for she merely laughs in response. “What is it? How bad could it be?”

“The core engine room.”

Alex’s eyes flash as she sits up straighter. “What?”

“I wish you’d informed me of the prior use of this vessel.” Lena can’t quite help the slight admonishment that seeps into her tone.

“If I’d known this was a holding place for aliens, I might have been able to predict… The systems are set to destroy alien life. Normally this would be a good thing, keeping foreign viruses and bacteria from attaching to the ship and re-infecting the home planet. But in our case…”

“We’re the aliens,” Alex finishes. She stares at floor, forehead furrowed in frustration.

“There’s still time to fix it,” Lena says, more gently this time. She hadn’t expected Alex to take the news so hard. “If we go to three-quarter rations for a couple days we should have a food supply up and running before anyone gets any ideas. No need for panic.”

For several long seconds Alex doesn’t respond. Finally she nods her head curtly.

“I’ll clear you,” she says. Her throat bobs. “But…promise you won’t tell Kara. She wor–”

Alex pauses, and too late Lena realizes her expression.

“She told you,” Alex says.

Lena releases the tension from her jaw and shoulders. She hadn’t realized the sound of Kara’s name made her react so viscerally. Belatedly she feels the warmth from her neck, a kind of rash of anger she’s powerless to control.

“Yes.”

Alex sighs deeply. “I told her not to,” she admits. “Maybe it’s my fault.”

“It was for her to tell.”

“Maybe,” Alex says. Lena finds she can’t look Alex in the eye right now. Kara’s – and Supergirl’s – sister, knowing this whole time what a dupe she was. Is.

“She only wanted to protect you,” Alex continues. “That’s why she never said anything.”

“I don’t need protection. Not from Supergirl. Not from Kara.”

Alex shrugs helplessly.

“If it makes you feel better she’s pissed at me for that. Among other things,” Alex says. “I’m in charge of this ship, literally the last humans in the universe, and the one person I want to talk to is hiding from me. I don’t even know where she is.”

“Probably with Nessa.”

“What?”

“She’s a cleaner,” Lena says. “She was here but got moved to the bridge.” She pauses as it becomes apparent Alex knows exactly who she is.

“What’s wrong with Nessa?” Lena asks. “I liked her. She’s smart. Kara’s lucky.”

_Ah, there it is_ , Lena thinks. Jealousy. Of Nessa for being the recipient of all those great Kara heart-to-hearts. The way she opens up without guile or agenda, so honest and…

No. Not honest, Lena reminds herself. When she glances up again Alex has a strange expression on her face, somewhere between amusement and confusion.

“Are you…?” Alex’s voice rises in anticipation.

“What?”

She coughs into her hand, leaving the fist in front of her mouth as if trying to cover the question.

“Are you _into_ Nessa?”

“I…No. Just… No,” Lena says. Of all the things Alex could have asked, this was probably the last thing she would have expected. It’s ludicrous. She just met Nessa. Sure, she’s generically pretty if unremarkable, clearly intelligent, and driven, but…no. Nessa is not Lena’s type. Plus, she always figured if she was going to date a woman it would be –

“Um, I have to go,” Lena says, standing abruptly and hitting her shin against the edge of the table. The thud barely penetrates her psyche. “I mean, you have to go. If you could go. If you don’t mind…”

Her hands flail, moving a bit too quickly to be poorly controlled and the glass she tries to move off the desk tips and rolls. Alex stops the glass before it rolls off the edge, setting it upright.

“Sure,” Alex says. “I’ll get you the clearance first thing in the morning.”

“Right,” Lena says. “Bye now.”

As the door shuts behind Alex, Lena feels the temperature of the room rising. Her skin is damp with sweat from the sudden heat, now cooling from the door’s draft, making her shiver even as the warmth persists.

Kara. She can’t be in love with Kara. No. Kara’s her best friend. Was her best friend. And she’s not… No. Not that she hasn’t thought about it, but, well, that’s totally normal. Everyone fantasizes about girls and guys, right? And anyway, Kara has only ever been interested in dating guys. They’ve always just been friends. Very good friends. Friends with a penchant for hugs and curling up on the same side of the couch together. It’s not unusual to be physically affectionate with one’s girlfriends though. Since when did that mean there’s an underlying romantic interest?

_You’re overreacting_.

And Supergirl. Lena has always been a bit flirty with Supergirl. It was harmless and fun to imagine. Who wouldn’t fantasize about that? Strong and gorgeous, able to literally sweep someone off their feet. But knowing that was Kara, all those times. What must Kara think?

Lena returns to the chair in horror. She needs another drink. But she should save some. Screw that. She can figure out a way to ferment something alcoholic.

As she pours another glass Lena’s brain circles again and again.

No. She’s not… She can’t…


	11. Alex

The alcohol burns pleasantly at the base of Alex’s belly. She really should have asked Lena if there is more booze anywhere. Maybe once the food shortage is addressed Lena can set up a small distillery. Something to take the edge off the low-grade panic that is constantly afoot.

At least that meeting had some good news. Lena has a solution, they won’t starve. Alex scarcely feels her feet on the floor as she walks. Man, it’s been awhile since she had a drink. It’s having a numbing effect on her pride. This would be a good time to apologize to Kara for her behavior.

Alex knocks on the unit next the her own, leaning against the cool wall for support. No response.

“Kara?”

She presses her ear to the door but still nothing. What if she is with Vanessa Nal, as Lena suggested? The thought is enough to send Alex down the hall, towards the unit Nia shares with her sister. Muffled noises can be heard from the corridor. Someone’s home.

The voices cease as soon as Alex knocks. Unconsciously she holds her breath, exhaling sharply when the barrier finally slides aside.

“Captain?” Vanessa asks. Slim though she is, she’s managed to block Alex’s view of the unit’s interior.

“I’m, uh, looking for Kara,” Alex says. She’s suddenly aware that her breath must smell strongly of whiskey and tries to speak to the side.

“She’s not here.” Vanessa steps aside, revealing the modest unit with only Nia sitting cross-legged on one of the two beds. Nia waves happily.

“Sorry to bother you,” Alex says. “I thought she might be here. I wanted to talk to her.”

Vanessa hesitates. “She was here,” the woman confesses. “But left a little while ago. Maybe fifteen minutes ago.”

“Thanks.” Alex begins to turn to leave. “What…if you don’t mind sharing, what was she doing here?”

“Just talking,” Vanessa replies, a bit defensively. No wonder, Alex thinks. She hasn’t exactly been friendly.

“About what?” Alex asks, as nicely as she can. “It’s just, she hasn’t been talking to me and I know she’s upset but won’t tell me why.”

Vanessa’s face softens. “I’m not sure it’s my place to share. But she’s working through it. I’m sure she’d love to chat with you.”

“Right.” _Except she must have ignored my attempt to come by earlier_. Alex swallows painfully.

“Are you…ok?” Vanessa seems unsure whether the question is a good idea. Alex brushes her hand past her eye. She isn’t sure why she’s getting so emotional.

“Fine. I’m fine.”

“Of course.”

The door shuts and Alex hurries back to her unit, feeling stupider than ever.

All seems back to normal the next day. Alex feels confident again, in control. Vanessa slouches onto the bridge mid-morning, discretely attempting to go about her work. Alex watches out of the corner of her eye.

Truthfully, when Lena first mentioned the former attorney was talking with Kara a lot, Alex wrote it off as some sort of misplaced jealousy. But the trip to the Nal unit last night confirmed they have in fact been talking. Indeed, even now, Kara lingers on the edge of Vanessa’s space. They don’t speak directly in this open area, but several significant glances are exchanged. A tinge of irritation begins to rise. That’s her sister. She’s the one who should know what’s going on. She’s the one Kara should be talking to.

“Vanessa, is it?” Alex says as she strides over to the corner. Kara skitters to the side.

“Nessa,” the woman replies with a curious expression. Alex suppresses any embarrassment from the night before. This is about Kara, not Vanessa Nal. Or Nessa or whatever she goes by.

“You’re distracting my team. Come back later.”

Nessa’s eyebrows rise in confusion as she glances around. “I’m on shift now.”

“Later,” Alex repeats, loud enough that a couple agents glance in their direction.

“Fine,” Nessa says through gritted teeth.

Alex turns, doing her best to pretend as if she is just now spotting Kara.

“Come join me, Kara,” she calls. “I could use your input.”

Kara stands beside her as she plots out their course with Brainy. Last time they didn’t get this far, and now there is an asteroid belt to contend with. _It never ends_. Kara is quiet but slowly opens up as Alex makes sure to ask for her opinion. Yet even after Brainy leaves them Kara doesn’t want to talk about what’s bothering her. Alex finally relents, letting her sister slips off the bridge, headed god-knows-where.

Alex remains as most agents clear the bridge. A skeleton crew swaps in to the night shift. They just monitor the equipment for the most part, something Alex would rather do tonight. Navigating the asteroid belt has her worried, even though Brainy assured her that his calculations could be trusted. Besides, it’s bound to be an interesting sight.

Alex tips back in the plush captain’s chair, head bobbing, distant suns barely visible against the inky sky beyond the window. The rattling of something startles her. How long has she been sleeping?

The bridge is empty now, save for the source of the noise. Vanessa Nal grimaces as she sets the bucket upright. Alex doesn’t even bother standing.

“Come here,” she calls, waving her hand. Soft, padded footsteps approach carefully.

“Why are you here?” Alex asks.

Vanessa sighs with frustration. “Look, this is my job and if you don’t want me here –”

“I do,” Alex interrupts. “I specifically requested you for the bridge.”

That shuts her up, Alex notes with satisfaction.

“Why?” she finally asks. “You never want me around. You won’t let me do the damn job.”

According to the monitor they are only minutes from the edge of the asteroid belt. It has Alex jittery. She wants to find Vanessa’s weak spot, to poke her, provoke, make her angry, something, anything that gets a reaction from this woman that is constantly under her skin.

“You’re meddlesome. I need to keep an eye on that,” Alex says. “But you also seem important to Kara. And Lena,” she adds.

“I listen.”

Alex ignores the implied accusation. She’s going to win this encounter. “I think Lena’s into you.”

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken,” Vanessa responds with a laugh.

“I’m pretty good at reading these things,” Alex says.

“Mmhmm.”

It occurs to Alex suddenly why she dislikes this woman so much.

“You’re not afraid of me,” Alex says.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Should I be?”

“Everyone else is.”

Vanessa shrugs. “I’ve dealt with worse bosses than you before.”

“You think I’m a bad boss?”

“You’re terrible.”

“It’s because of me we’re alive!”

“Thanks for that,” Vanessa says. “But how long are you going to use that as your excuse? How long does that justify treating people like shit, or like children who have nothing useful to contribute? From my perspective, you just happened to be lucky enough to have a spaceship on hand. One which you didn’t even fix and prepare and wouldn’t have been able to fly but for Lena Luthor.”

Alex opens her mouth to retort but the ship tilts precariously at that moment. Vanessa stumbles and falls while Alex clutches the armrest to stay in place.

“What was that?” Vanessa asks, eyes darting.

“Asteroids,” Alex says. Indeed, the chunks of rock are now visible through the glass, hurtling at terrifying speed around the ship. The walls rattle and shake, but thankfully none seem to be as close as that first one.

“I’m going to die here,” Vanessa says, finally rattled. “I should have stayed on earth. At least there I was something.”

“I’m not letting anyone die,” Alex says, and for the first time she really feels it. The weight of responsibility, the commitment, not just to the DEO agents and people she knew, but everyone on the _Beacon_. Even those that make her life difficult. “And you are something here.”

Vanessa snorts. It’s an oddly inelegant sound coming from the lithe woman who seems to exude natural elegance. Alex find herself wanting to keep the conversation going. She needs to figure Vanessa out. Find a way to work around her or even make her useful.

_And you don’t want to die alone._ Well, who does? The storm outside is unnerving, a tornado inside a mudslide. While the sky typically gives the sensation of merely floating in still space, the image is now one of utter chaos, the true precariousness of their situation impossible to avoid. It’s easy to imagine death as incidental, non-judgmental. Even a tiny hit would be enough to doom them. But if it’s sudden, the idea of being alone in that moment is not pleasant. Better to share in death with someone, anyone, than face a new kind of darkness alone.

The walls rumble as another rock swings close and Vanessa cowers slightly.

“Why do you say Lena’s not into you?” Alex asks.

“Because she’s clearly obsessed with Kara,” Vanessa says. Her dark eyes widen as a hand flies up to her mouth. “Forget I just said that.”

“What!?! That’s…not…”

Not Kara? Not Lena? It only takes a moment for the truth to emerge from what Alex always classified as random noise in the pattern of their interactions. It is obvious. Glaringly obvious. She doesn’t even have to look at Vanessa to know the other half of the story, the reason Kara keeps hanging around the former attorney. Kara harbors similar feelings. Likely she blames Alex for trying to keep them apart with her insistence that Kara hide the truth. No wonder her sister has been avoiding her.

It’s as if she has an instinct for squashing happiness wherever it appears. First herself, taking until her late twenties to have a real relationship, form a meaningful attachment; and then everyone around her, convincing them to not trust their own heart.

“Sometimes I think I’m going to end up all alone.”

“Everyone thinks that,” Vanessa retorts.

“That they are alone?”

“No, that you’ll end up alone.” Unexpectedly Vanessa breaks into a smile, sticking her tongue out. Alex’s gut unclenches. She raises an eyebrow.

“If that’s the case you better get used to the idea of ending up alone as well.”

“How do you figure?”

“There’s a real chance we are last two women on earth – from earth anyway – that prefer to date women.”

Vanessa blinks a few times, opening and closing her mouth without a word before redirecting her attention to the front window.

_Ha. I win_.

Alex follows her gaze and together they watch the asteroid storm in silence. They seem to be through the worst of it. The chunks of rocks still fly past, but these are smaller and passing at greater distances. It’s almost beautiful. Alex leans forward, flipping the switch for external lights. These are really only relevant when landing since the light can’t penetrate the vast darkness of space, but against the floating rocks the light twists and turns, revealing multicolored minerals and reflective surfaces spinning in the vastness.

“Wow,” Vanessa whispers.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees. And it truly is. Backed by the emptiness of space, she feels small and insignificant. Oddly the sensation is more comforting than ominous. They are last of earth’s inhabitants. But somewhere, on Argo and planets Alex has never heard of, more humanoid creatures exist. Maybe they will make it, maybe not. Regardless, the universe will continue forward.

And who knows, maybe Alex will even find another woman on the as-yet-unknown planet to love. She would hate to be stuck with Vanessa Nal. Alex sneaks a look at the other woman. Vanessa’s eyes dart from rock to rock, piercing and focused, as if trying to read a message that is moving too quickly. She leans forward and there’s a waft of body odor, detergent mixed with a kind of sour citrus. It’s not entirely unpleasant.

If they truly were the last people in the world Alex might consider it. Vanessa isn’t bad to look at for sure. Some might even call her pretty, even if her features are unremarkable. Really, it’s just her personality that bothers Alex. The self-righteousness, arrogance, the way she never follows orders, but has to question every decision. Like that damn Robert Markel who nearly killed them before Alex won them a second chance.

Quickly, Alex switches the monitor from navigation to the ship manifest. Where did Robert Markel end up this time? She specifically told Brainy to keep him away from any of the ship’s engine rooms.

“Oh fuck.” Next to his name is listed the worst thing Alex can imagine – special assignment, Lena Luthor.

“What is it?”

Double crap. Alex forgot Vanessa is right here.

“Nothing,” Alex says. “Shouldn’t you be cleaning something?”

A hurt expression crosses Vanessa’s face like a wave, hardening into her typical stubborn jut. She points at the screen.

“Robert Markel,” she says. “I know that name.”

“You don’t,” Alex says, switching the screen back to navs.

“I do,” she says, even more stubbornly, shaking her head. “I just can’t place it.” She studies Alex for a second, backing away towards the abandoned cleaning supplies.

“There’s something going on. Something bizarre. I don’t like it.”

_You never do_.

Alex has already given authorization for the core engine room. She can’t stop it now, especially with Vanessa getting suspicious, what with her knowing Lena and her tendency to butt her nose in places it doesn’t belong. The easy solution tempts her.

A reset would make this all go away. She wouldn’t have made Kara upset, can still avoid the tension the Markel situation will create, and other small tweaks and improvements. They aren’t in the same dire straits as last time, but it’s so simple, almost too easy now that she knows what to look for. A clean slate. Every time she can make it better, they can get further, learn more. Alex just needs to find another jump point. If she’s lucky they will go back further, to before the _Beacon_.

Vanessa lets her mop clatter to the floor near where she left the bucket. She leaves without a backwards glance. Next time Alex needs to keep a closer eye on her. Find some way to keep her happy enough that she stays out of the way.

The nearest void is on the very edge of their radar. If she burns through the remaining fuel they can make it by morning, before the usual day shift arrives. Alex doesn’t give herself time to overthink. The ship rotates soundlessly, to anyone else they continue moving forward through the now-empty sky.

“Captain. Captain? Alex?”

Brainy stares at her unblinking. “What was the question?” Alex asks.

“I said the earth will combust in approximately ninety minutes. Do you think we should warn the passengers? I imagine the sight will be quite traumatic for many, if not all of them.”

“Yeah,” Alex says automatically.

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuck_. They didn’t go far enough to save earth. But far enough to make improvements.

“Very good,” Brainy responds. “The crew on the bridge would also like to know if we are headed any particular direction. Space is a vast and infinite place. From my reading of certain psychological texts I believe it would be beneficial for them to believe we are headed…somewhere.”

“To Argo,” Alex says. “But, keep quiet about that. They can know we have a destination just not where. I don’t want people getting their hopes up.”

The alien inclines his head and prepares to leave.

“Oh Brainy!” Alex calls. “One more thing. There’s a woman on board I need to speak to.”

Nia’s older sister looks lost as Brainy escorts her onto the bridge. Her hair is sharply pulled back into a knotted bun and her lean frame is all angels in the black suit she’s wearing. The look contrasts with the lines on her face that indicate worry and at least a full day without sleep.

Alex finishes her instructions, waiting for the other agents to retreat before speaking. Once they have enough space to not be overheard Alex stands, noting with satisfaction that she is able to stand just slightly taller than the other woman.

“Vanessa Nal?” Alex says.

“Yes. That’s correct.”

Alex takes a deep breath. “I’d like to take you on as my adviser.”


	12. Nessa

“I’d like to take you on as my adviser.”

The woman, dressed in military black, looks at Nessa expectantly.

“I’m sorry…Who are you?”

Nessa racks her brain but she’s certain they’ve never met. It’s a safe bet seeing as she hasn’t met any of Nia’s National City friends, and everyone on board the ship seems to consist of people from National City. Mostly those working at a place called DEO. She’s not sure what they do but weapons and tech seems a safe bet.

“Captain Danvers. Alex.” The woman makes a face as if she regrets providing her first name. The hands on her hips clench into fists. It’s not making Nessa feel any more comfortable having been pulled without ceremony or explanation from the rest of the passengers.

“Um. Ok. Wow. Uh, can I ask why? I mean, I don’t know you, you don’t me, you have no idea what I do –”

Typically, Nessa prides herself on her confidence, even in new situations. But the woman’s obvious impatience in combination with standing in a _freaking spaceship_ have her disoriented.

“I’ve done my research,” the Captain interrupts. “Look, there’s a lot going on right now so why don’t you think about it. I’ll find you in the morning.”

Abruptly the Captain turns back to the monitor. No one seems to be paying attention to Nessa so after a few seconds she slowly backs out of the busy room.

She returns to the adjacent space where most passengers appear to be congregating. The green and blue planet grows incrementally smaller as the murmuring increases in volume. Or perhaps vice versa. It’s difficult to tell which phenomena is driving which. And yet, it all feels familiar, like a dream she’s had before. That’s possible, although Nessa is fairly certain no one on board this ship has seen a planet explode before. Certainly no one she knows enough to siphon memories. Possibly it’s a latent memory from the ship. She’s tired, and that must be seeping into her psyche. Best not to fight it. There’s no need to watch the destruction of her home play out in real time. Trapped aboard this ship it is only a matter of time before that memory becomes hers as well.

Nessa stumbles through the vertigo-inducing white hallways, struggling to stay awake. It’s been an exhausting day but she shouldn’t be _this_ exhausted. Figures she would pick up space flu or something. She finally locates the door that opens at her touch, barely making it to the couch before her eyelids fall heavily, taking her away from this world.

_“I can’t,” Kara says, her face stained with tears._

_“Why not? I can see how much you love your sister. What makes you think she, or anyone for that matter, would be bothered? That anything would change?”_

_“Because…” Kara’s face strains. “It’s Alex’s thing. I can’t take it. I’ve taken so much from her. Growing up, it became all about me, I was the center of attention, the one Eliza worried about. Alex felt she had to put her feelings aside to protect me. She kept herself from happiness for my sake. And for me to swoop in, to take it all now… It’s not fair.”_

_Nessa wants to laugh but Kara would take it the wrong way in her current state._

_“Oh honey,” Nessa says instead, stroking the cheek of the young woman who is only now confronting herself. Remember how scary it can be, Nessa reminds herself. She’s been able to hide behind the Supergirl persona. That’s all over now. Wherever they end up, if they even make it, Kara Danvers is now an ordinary alien, with no remarkable powers._

_“Love isn’t competitive,” Nessa says. “Like the universe, it’s ever-expanding. Realizing that you may have feelings, romantic feelings even, for a friend doesn’t dilute the love other people have had or will have.”_

_Kara curls into Nessa’s breast like a small child. It’s akin to when Nia was young, before Nessa’s angry teenage phase, when Nessa loved nothing so much as tending to her sibling’s needs._

_Slowly Kara’s shaking subsides into a quieter, calmer cry. The superhero sniffs into her sleeve._

_“It doesn’t matter anyway,” she says. “Lena hates me for keeping Supergirl a secret. I might as well keep my other secrets to myself.”_

_Nessa knows better than to respond to such bitter thoughts. She holds the girl of steel close, rocking gently, humming a tuneless melody._

Nia has put most of their things away when Nessa wakes. It’s odd to see her few possessions prominently displayed, as if their unit were an exhibit at a museum, a chance for alien children to step inside what the living space of an earthling might have been. Not so far from the truth, really.

“What time is it?” Nessa asks. Her suit has a deep crease that will take awhile to iron out. Not that she’ll be wearing the suit anytime soon. Or ironing. On a free chair Nia has placed the same black gear that identifies the DEO. Nia follows her gaze.

“It’s being provided to everyone,” Nia explains. “It will be easier to wear and it’s designed to last a long time. We each get two sets.”

Swell, Nessa thinks.

“Oh and, uh, you missed dinner,” Nia adds. “It’s so weird to be here, in space, you know? I can barely keep track of the time, even with the monitors in every room.”

Nia rambles on, a nervous habit Nessa doesn’t bother to interrupt. At least she didn’t sleep through her morning meeting with the Captain. With vivid dreams one can never tell how long it’s been. The memory must be Nia’s, although Nessa doesn’t typically superimpose herself over the host of the memory. No matter. Out of mind. When she finally gets to meet Kara, the last thing Nessa wants is to create any awkwardness by knowing a very personal piece of information.

Nia falls silent and wordlessly Nessa beckons her over. Her younger sister hesitates only briefly before bounding to the couch, falling into Nessa arms, sobbing in a nearly exact replica of the dream. Nessa find herself humming the same melody, and just as it did before, Nia calms and her heart slows until she finally releases to sleep.

“My answer is no,” Nessa says.

“Excuse me?” Captain Danvers responds. Some part of Nessa is prepared for this outburst. The request from the prior day has been troubling her from the start. Why would the Captain choose someone unknown as her right-hand when half the people aboard are with the DEO?

“I said no,” Nessa repeats. “I’m flattered I suppose. But it doesn’t seem prudent for me to accept when I know so little about you or this ship or the plan.”

Captain Danvers clenches her jaw as she gazes at a point over Nessa’s shoulder.

“Do you know what other people are doing right now? The people who were not with the DEO but brought aboard last minute, like you?”

Nia left the unit early and seeing as that’s her only point of reference, Nessa can only shake her head.

“Menial tasks,” Captain Danvers says. “Counting inventory, sterilizing equipment. Would you rather do that, seeing as you have no useful skills and would prefer not to spend your time assisting on the bridge?”

A surge of something hot and spiky rises through Nessa’s core. She’s taken worse barbs before, but always within the context of court, with its rules and technical disagreements. The Captain has gone personal though. That falls outside the scope of what’s allowed.

“Possibly,” Nessa replies. “Seeing as even after being offered the chance to explain, to sell your position to me you persist with intimidation tactics. Maybe that worked for you with the DEO but I’ve handled worse.”

“Right. All that work with criminals. You think that made you tough?”

Nessa starts at the mention of her past, but the Captain isn’t looking for a response.

“As it happens, the request for you to work as my adviser wasn’t actually up for debate. You will serve the _Beacon_ in that capacity. I could choose anyone on this ship and do you honestly think you would be my first choice? I don’t care if all you do is stand silently. So long as you do it all day, every day, staying within my sight.”

Captain Danvers marches off and Nessa can only breath heavily through the cloud of confusion. An agent Nessa recognizes as the one that pulled her from the crowd the day before gestures for her attention.

“Vanessa Nal,” the agent says. “I understand the Captain has briefed you and you are to act as her assistant and, ahem, adviser.” An appropriate amount of skepticism, Nessa thinks.

“I don’t know.”

“From what I surmise of your conversation the answer is yes. Although if you came away with a different impression I would be happy to determine a suitable replacement. Which truthfully would not be difficult,” he adds.

“Who are you?”

“Ah yes! I forget these rituals of small talk,” he says, placing the last two words in air quotes. “You may call me Brainy.” He pauses. “I should note that I am…quite fond of your sister.”

“Oh?” Nessa asks. File that one away to ask Nia later.

“But I fear I have made our interaction less-than-professional. So, please forget I mentioned it and let’s get you equipped.”

Getting equipped, as it turns out, mostly involves programming the communication device meant to connect her to Captain Danvers. Once activated the already-grating voice pops into Nessa’s ear, making her grimace.

“I can turn that down for you,” Brainy says, adjusting the volume to a less invasive pitch.

“Do I have to keep it in all the time?”

“Not while sleeping. But it would not be a bad idea. Captain Danvers tends to work at all hours.”

Nessa suppresses a groan.

“Vanessa Nal. Vanessa Nal.”

“Yes? What?” Nessa says, spinning around for the source of the voice before realizing it’s from her comm.

“Oh. Right. Here?”

Through the earpiece Captain Danvers sighs, her exasperation evident. “If you’re about finished I’d like to see you on the bridge.”

Brainy gives a curt nod. Nessa opens her mouth and before the words come forth, he points. “That way. First left.”

“Thanks.”

Captain Danvers points to a spot to her left. “Vanessa, this spot is yours,” she says. “Don’t move from it.”

“Nessa.”

“What?”

“Not even my mother calls me Vanessa.” The statement earns her a sideways look.

“Fine. Nessa. Stay here.” The Captain strides away as Nessa sighs.

It’s an awkward location the Captain has selected for her watch. She’s in the middle of everything yet isolated from the bubbles of panic that spring up every five seconds or so in a different corner of the room. One agent gesticulates wildly while another watches with an expression of befuddlement. The Captain tilts her head back with a sigh before responding and both agents calm visibly. She turns towards Nessa only for another set of agents to call her aside. This happens almost half a dozen times before the Captain is able to return to Nessa. She doesn’t stop, only gestures to follow. Nessa has to jog every fourth step in order to keep pace.

“Where are we going?” Nessa manages to gasp between strides.

“To check on my sister.” The Captain’s usually hard expression wavers for half a second, although she continues at the same breakneck pace. It triggers something. The hardened men she worked with on earth, incarcerated and afraid to show weakness, but truly, deeply hurting underneath.

The Captain pauses outside one of the residential units and with an inhale, knocks.

“Kara?” she asks, tone unlike the one Nessa has heard thus far.

Behind the door a fit blonde peers curiously, a bit wan in color but otherwise unremarkable. Captain Danvers licks her lips.

“Uh, Kara. This is Va– Just Nessa,” she corrects. “She’s trained in mediation and I thought would help with your…conversation.”

The blonde frowns slightly. “That’s kind of a personal thing.”

“I just want it to go well.”

“Sure,” the younger woman relents. If they are indeed sisters, Kara has none of the stubbornness that seems to define her elder sibling.

Captain Danvers releases another breath, her gaze wavering somewhere to the side of Nessa.

“Take care of her,” she says, pivoting sharply back down the hall. Nessa stares blankly. So much for staying in sight of the Captain. She’s not quite sure what she’s supposed to do now.

“Nessa?” Kara repeats.

“Yeah.” Nessa pauses. “I’m sorry I have no idea what’s going on.”

Kara laughs gently. “Alex didn’t tell you. That’s not surprising. Come on in.”

The unit is brightly furnished with a number of items clearly brought from earth. Kara must have had time to pack and get settled. Lucky. The items that line the walls give it the feel of a real home, unlike the nearly-bare unit she shares with her sister. This is a warm and inviting space. It leaves Nessa feeling homesick.

Kara takes a seat on the couch and pats the cushion.

“It’s really not a big deal. I can’t believe Alex brought you into it.”

“It doesn’t appear either of us has a choice.”

“That’s the truth,” Kara agrees. “Alex is stubborn as they come.” She bites her lip for a second.

“I’m Supergirl,” she says. “Was Supergirl. I’m still getting used to not…being…having powers. And my best friend, Lena, well, she doesn’t know.”

“Ok.”

“So I need to tell her,” Kara continues, her words tumbling out faster and faster like a barrel rolling down a hill. “And she’s going to be hurt. I mean _really_ hurt. Her family is kind of a mess and trust is a big deal for her. But we’re best friends so I think it will be alright but Alex is typical big sister and worried and that’s it, nothing to worry about.”

Kara releases a high-pitched kind of giggle that indicates she most definitely does not believe things will be alright. Nessa leans forwards and hugs the superhero. Kara tenses in surprise but relaxes and slowly begins to shake.

“It’s going to be ok,” Nessa says.

She doesn’t get back to her own unit until late, Nia is already asleep. What an unexpected day. But a good day, challenging and rewarding. Definitely not the assignment she expected from the dour Captain. She lays down, head sinking into the soft pillow until it’s perfectly cradled.

“Nessa?”

It takes a minute for her to place the voice as that of Alex via the still-active comm. She forgot the damn thing was still in. Nia breathes deeply, so Nessa rolls, turning her back to her sleeping sister before answering.

“Yeah?” she whispers.

“Did I wake you?”

“Um. Kind of.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll let you go to sleep.”

“It’s fine. I’m up.”

There’s a long pause during which Nessa wonders if Alex has disconnected.

“How did things go with Kara?”

Nessa shifts. So many directions to go. “I think you should ask her,” she finally says in as gentle a tone as she can muster.

“Not…poorly?”

“No,” Nessa confirms. “Not poorly.”

A grateful breath fills the line. “I’m glad. Good night Nessa. Thank you.”

“Are you –” Nessa begins. But the light static has vanished, indicating the line is clear.

“Ok?” Nessa finishes, to the quiet room. As expected, there is no answer. She turns back, letting the gentle rise and fall of the adjacent bed bring her to a place of calm.

Maybe tomorrow she should talk to the Captain. She’s clearly struggling, the stubborn and abrasive exterior merely armor to protect someone who feels world-crushing responsibility. But it doesn’t have to be all on her. She’s got Nessa, and Kara, and hundreds of other people aboard the _Beacon_. But as Nessa closes her eyes she sees again and again, the Captain rushing around the bridge, solving every problem, alone, and increasingly distraught.


	13. Kara

“I don’t think it’s necessary,” Kara says.

It would be mortifying if not also so genuinely sweet. The other woman looks as uncomfortable as Kara feels which takes the edge off her embarrassment. Only Alex seems to believe this is a good plan.

But what the hell? Maybe having a stranger present will keep Lena from really flying off the handle, from saying something hurtful enough that they can’t recover.

The woman introduced as Nessa steps gingerly into the unit. She takes it all in with long glances that make Kara somewhat self-conscious about her decorating choices. Hopefully Nessa doesn’t think she’s immature with all the personal knick-knacks she brought from home. Having already lost one planet, Kara brought as much stuff as she could aboard the _Beacon_. She wants every reminder possible of earth. Of the brief time when she was happy.

Kara frowns. It’s not like her to be so pessimistic. But she can’t shake the feeling that whatever is about to happen doesn’t end well. Of course, she hadn’t counted on this newcomer.

“I’m sorry,” the woman says. “This must feel intrusive. If it helps, I’m Nia’s sister. I believe you two used to work together.”

Kara’s spirits rise immediately. “Oh my gosh, I remember Nia saying something about you!” Kara says. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She stops herself from going for a hug, the expression on the older woman’s face a good indication that boundaries will be appreciated.

“So I guess you already know I’m Supergirl,” Kara says.

“No,” Nessa replies.

Oops. Nessa waves off the misunderstanding with a smile that puts Kara at ease.

“This is dumb. I…need to tell someone. Someone I’ve known for years and…” She waves her hands helplessly. And what?

“And that’s it.”

Nessa takes another long look at the wall. “This person has known you as two people then?”

“Yeah. And with one, as Kara, we’re best friends. And with Supergirl…it’s complicated.”

Surprisingly Nessa leans forward, taking Kara’s hand in her own. Dark eyes search her face, the pupils disappearing into the shadowy iris. It’ more comforting than unsettling though, giving the sense that Nessa is channeling some otherworldly energy.

“Do you dream like Nia?” She isn’t sure if that’s a rude question but Kara can’t help it.

“Yes. I mean no. I dream of the past, not the future.” Nessa pauses with a slightly pained expression. “I’m going to be honest with you Kara. I already know some things that I maybe shouldn’t. I don’t know if space is making my body’s sense of time wacky or something but…I know you like Lena.”

“She’s my best friend,” Kara agrees.

“Yes. But you like her a way besides that. I think when you tell her about Supergirl, you need to share that piece too.”

Kara’s face warms and cools in quick succession, the blood rushing to her cheeks and promptly draining away. Of all the things Nessa might know about her, well, that’s absurd. It’s not even true.

“It’s not –”

It’s not exactly untrue. In fact, the more the thought lingers, the more obvious it becomes. The flowers in her office, the way Lena always orders extra potstickers so Kara gets her own container, hell, Lena bought CatCo and in retrospect it feels almost as if Lena did that to help her. Which means…

“I suspect Lena feels the same,” Nessa says. “Which is why you need to say it. If telling her about Supergirl is going to hurt her as much as you think, she will be feeling vulnerable. Stupid even. You need to even the scales, by sharing something that makes you vulnerable.”

“You think so? What if she still leaves?”

She can’t leave, Kara belatedly realizes. But fortunately Nessa seems to get her meaning.

“You have to accept it,” Nessa says. “You can’t change her reaction. But you can take the sting out. A little.”

The longer they chat, the more Nessa’s reserve seems to fade. In part, Kara realizes she has a very dry and understated sense of humor. Pragmatic and to-the-point, she’s probably learned to hold her opinion and/or worry less about what other people think.

Lucky, Kara thinks. If she cared less what other people thought she might not be in this situation. She tries to keep this in mind as Nessa squeezes her hand.

“Are you ready?” the older woman asks.

Lena sits expectantly on the couch beside Kara. Nessa watches indirectly from the chair opposite, doing a solid impression of a person disinterested in the proceedings.

“You said you needed to talk?” Lena asks, her brow furrowed in concern.

“Yeah,” Kara replies. She scuffs her shoe against the smooth floor. She wishes she’d thought to bring rugs to cover the hard ground. That’s the missing element to the space. Her tongue feels too big for her mouth which is drying suddenly. She recalls Nessa’s advice from earlier – don’t beat about the bush. She coughs as some spittle goes down her breathing tube.

“I’m Supergirl,” Kara chokes out.

There’s no response and the automatic tears that fill her eyes from the cough prevent her gauging Lena’s reaction.

“I couldn’t tell you because I needed to protect you.”

The tears clear suddenly, revealing someone who looks a whole lot like Lena, but terrifyingly more angry. Her pale skin has lost what little color it holds and the sympathetic gaze has become ice cold.

“What?”

“I’m Supergirl,” Kara repeats lamely.

“I heard.” Lena stands. “And you didn’t tell me because you were protecting me.” The last couple words come out in an exaggerated whine. “What makes you think I need protecting?”

“I…”

“I don’t,” Lena cuts in. “The answer is that I don’t need protection.”

“I know that, I know. I just –”

“I can’t believe you kept this from me. Who else knew? Was it everyone and I am the lone dupe? I’m surprised you brought me aboard the _Beacon_ seeing as you’d probably prefer to have people who you trust with your secret, but I suppose you needed the dupe to fix the ship.”

Each word seems to fuel her forward, as if Lena no longer requires actual movement to increase the distance between herself and Kara. Helplessly Kara watches as her best friend in the world – in the universe – retreats, on the verge of being gone forever. Kara shuts her eyes.

“It’s not like that. Lena, I wanted to tell you and I always meant to but at some point I fell in love you!”

The air echoes with her confession. She can’t be sure if Lena has left already or merely paused. She’s already humiliated herself so she might as well finish the job. At the very least it will feel good to say it, even to a mostly empty room.

“I don’t know when,” Kara continues, eyes still closed. “I only realized it recently. Of course you don’t need protection. You’re the smartest, bravest, most fearless person I know. Nothing scares you. But I’m not like that. I get scared. And on earth I couldn’t be hurt, but you could. And that scared me. So I kept it a secret. And I convinced myself it was for the best because, I think, maybe I knew if I told you, then I’d have to admit how much you meant to me. How much I love you.”

Kara hangs her head, drained. The place she scuffed her shoe earlier is still visible, a buffed line against the muted grey. Lena hasn’t left the room yet but stands two steps from the door, facing away from Kara. Slowly, Lena turns. Kara keeps her eyes focused on the dirty floor. She’s delayed the inevitable, that’s all. Lena will still leave, and she would be right to never return. Kara doesn’t deserve her. No one does.

“Is this another trick?”

It’s Lena’s calm voice, which is somehow even scarier than her angry one. This type of calm is the deceptive cover atop an overwhelming rage that has been pushed down to the core.

“No,” Kara says.

In the time Kara has known Lena she’s seen her perform many amazing feats, usually mental, but occasionally physical, being quick on the draw in particular. Yet she has never seen Lena move as fast as she does now, closing the gap between them in a fraction of a second, closing her lips around Kara’s.

The pale skin of Lena’s nose and cheek rest only an inch away and Kara can only star in confusion. _How did she get so close? Oh wait, she’s kissing you_.

Teeth nip at her lower lip and Kara is lost. The ship seems to have dissolved, leaving them free-floating in space, assuming that space was warm and soft and ever so slightly damp instead of a freezing cold vacuum. None of it makes sense so Kara lets the fantasy take her, spinning into the yellow sun, becoming more powerful than ever, feeling more alive than any creature in time, and holding in her arms the one person who has always believed she was wonderful, even without superpowers.

A noise Kara can’t recognize breaks through the fog. A throat clears loudly, for the second time or maybe third time, Kara realizes. Nessa stares firmly at the display of photos in the corner.

“Right,” Kara says. The return to the ship feels sudden, as if her and Lena actually took off for a second. But of course they never moved. “Sorry about…that.”

“It’s fine,” Nessa says, a smile twitching at one corner of her mouth. “I’m really happy. For both of you.”

Warm fingers intertwine with Kara’s, a pulse in the palm of the hand revealing Lena’s rapid heartbeat.

“I apologize as well,” Lena says to Nessa. “I did not expect to be quite so…overcome.” She glances at Kara as a bit of pink dots her cheeks. “It’s very unlike me.”

Lena looks more closely at Kara’s visitor. “You look familiar,” Lena says with a squint. “You said your name was Nessa. Have we met before?”

“I don’t think so,” Nessa replies. “I never lived in National City and I only met Kara today.”

“Huh,” Lena replies. “I swear I never forget a face.”

“You might be thinking of my sister, Nia.”

“I don’t think so,” Lena says thoughtfully.

“Ok, well, um. Regardless I think I’m done here,” Nessa says. Quickly she shuffles to the door. Kara raises her free hand for a small wave and then, she’s alone in her unit with just Lena. The tiny pulse in the palm quickens and it feels as if all the air left the room with Nessa.

“So,” Lena says, a bit breathlessly as if she too is feeling the lack of oxygen, “what should we do now?”


	14. Alex

“Are you ok?” Nessa asks over the comm. “Alex? Captain Danvers?” Alex doesn’t respond. Nessa sighs and there’s a shuffle of noise. She must be lying down. Very likely she was sleeping before Alex interrupted.

The bridge is empty save for a couple of the night crew, but no one is paying attention. There’s no reason for her to be here still but she can’t bring herself to leave. In six hours it all begins again. The endless barrage of questions, confusion over equipment, and apparent inability of anyone else to make decisions. The quiet time is necessary to clear her head. At least things seem to have gone alright with Kara. That’s one less thing to worry about. One less on a list of hundreds.

Alex raises her hands to her head and groans openly. The noise causes the agents in the corner to turn and look but no one approaches. They haven’t been officially summoned and everyone is a little bit afraid of her. Something that worked to her benefit at the DEO but which is considerably less convenient now, as it leaves her free floating most of the time. J’onn really selected a deeply inconvenient time to go all hide-away-meditation.

Idly Alex flips through several system logs, scanning for potential issues. The other agents come and go but per usual, the bridge is almost completely empty overnight. Nothing but Alex and the blank sky.

“Hey,” calls a familiar voice. Nessa waves from the door as she moves forward. “Brainy said I would probably find you here.”

“What are you doing?” Alex asks. “You don’t report for another four hours.”

Nessa shrugs in an irritatingly self-satisfied way. “Couldn’t sleep. And you seemed wired earlier, like you needed to blow off steam or vent or something. So I’m here.”

Nessa rolls a chair over, kicking her heels onto the edge of the console in an irritatingly confident manner.

“Are you alright? Brainy mentioned you aren’t sleeping much and at the risk of sounding like your mother, sleep is essential to high function and decision-making…”

“I don’t need you to act like my mother,” Alex interrupts. “As it happens, I am apparently the only one on board capable of making certain decisions. I need to be aware of what is happening at all time.”

“I think they’re afraid to make the decision without you,” Nessa says.

“Right. Because you have been observing for what? One day?”

“That doesn’t make me wrong. Also you look like shit.”

Alex pauses, pinching her nose. The rumblings of a headache threaten to rise into a full-blown migraine. “What are you hoping to accomplish right now?”

“I think you need to sleep. I’m worried about you.” Nessa lowers her feet and leans forward, earnest expression. “Look, I saw you on the bridge today. You’re collected under pressure and people rely on you, I don’t question that. But if we’re relying on you, we need it to be you at the top of your game. And you’re not. I’m no doctor, but I can tell you are stressed to high hell. When did you last sleep?”

Good question, Alex thinks. Was it sixty hours ago?

“I don’t know, a day or so,” Alex says. As the lie escapes her limbs grow heavy, feeling every hour of the two and a half days she’s been awake since boarding the _Beacon_. “Fine,” she adds, in an exaggerated show of relenting. “I’ll take a nap. A quick one.”

“Eight hours,” Nessa says.

“Two.”

“Eight.”

“Four.”

“Eight,” Nessa repeats firmly. “Then a shower and a hot meal. I’ll talk to Brainy about managing the bridge and write up any decisions that need answering once you’re back.”

Nessa places a hand on Alex’s back and gently begins guiding her down the hallway. Alex’s feet lead the way to the room she has scarcely seen since boarding. Odd reminders of home line the surfaces, unpacked but yet to be set up around the room. Items Kara must have packed for her prior to departure.

Alex stumbles about the semi-familiar space as Nessa flits in the background, moving, cleaning, Alex isn’t totally sure to be honest. As she falls forward onto the bed Nessa is still there on the edge of her periphery, humming softly. The mattress yields easily to her body weight, catching her in a soft yet firm embrace. _Shit, I forgot to set an alarm_ , Alex thinks, just before unconsciousness takes hold.

The music crescendos, the string section rising in volume and intensity for the big finish. The room is dark save for a single lamp turned down low near the front door. The clock reads mid-day. Eight hours. The music stops short of the final flourish as Alex finds the alarm. The desk chair has been turned around and holds a thick folded towel and bottle of something. Alex sniffs experimentally. Lavender.

A shower isn’t a bad idea. The hot water washes the remaining sleep from her body. The lavender soap leaves the stall smelling like a spa. By the time she exits, Nessa has appeared, setting up a plate on the desk.

“What’s this?” Alex says as she shakes out her hair.

“I promised a hot meal. And I had to really put the screws to some people but I got it done,” Nessa adds proudly. “I cannot promise it tastes any different than the usual goop, but I can promise warm.”

Indeed the food does appear to be the same tasteless protein mix they usually eat, but something about the warmth makes it more fulfilling.

“Thanks,” Alex mumbles between bites. She really needs to get back to the bridge. There is probably a line of agents waiting since she wasn’t around for the morning rush.

“Slow down,” Nessa commands. “If you are in such a hurry you can open your mail. I’ve sent you briefs on the remaining decision points. Brainy and I developed a triage system to handle straightforward or repetitive requests ourselves. You shouldn’t be dealing with that. The remainder you can view summaries along with our recommended course of action.”

“Wow. You’ve been busy.”

Nessa shrugs as a bit of pink creeps up her neck. “I made Brainy do most of it. Someday I’ll teach you all about delegation. You know, the art of not doing it all yourself.”

Alex snorts. She eats more slowly, pausing to read through the dozen or so briefs waiting in the inbox. Despite the recent sleep she feels the onset of another wave of drowsiness and has to suppress the urge to yawn. If Nessa catches that she will probably send her off for another eight hour nap. And Alex can’t afford to be out of commission that long. The asteroid storm is approaching.

After a few minutes of reading Alex slowly becomes aware of Nessa watching her with a smug expression. She shifts uncomfortably. How long was she watching? Alex swipes a hand across her mouth in case she has some food on her face that is causing the amusement.

“What?” Alex finally asks.

“I love being right,” Nessa says.

“You’re not always right you know,” Alex retorts. “I’m going to have to correct at least a few of these decisions you made.”

Nessa’s smile fades a watt.

“But you did alright,” Alex adds. “And you were right about one thing. I needed to get some sleep.”

The other woman’s expression brightens into a grin, edge of her lip curled around a canine that rotates out of alignment from the rest of her teeth. Seemingly unconsciously she tucks that side of the smile down to cover the anomaly, offering Alex a more practiced smile. It’s good to know Nessa has one or two self-conscious weaknesses.

Nessa follows a couple steps behind as they make their way to the bridge. Agents straighten their posture as Alex enters, taking care to look engaged in their work. Everyone adopts a slightly more serious expression, save one occupant, who instead rushes Alex, arms wide.

“Thank you,” Kara says, even without super-strength managing to knock the wind out of Alex.

“Yeah,” Alex chokes. “What’s this for?”

A pale figure slips into her periphery, resembling but bustier than Nessa. The figure circles an arm around Kara’s waist, planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Lena?” Alex asks dumbly.

Kara nods and blushes. “It all worked out,” she says under her breath.

“I…see.” Thankfully, the couple don’t appear to notice Alex’s confusion. They wander off in their own bubble, leaving Alex adrift on the bustling bridge.

“You didn’t tell me they…” Alex waves helplessly. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t at all what was supposed to happen. They needed to stay friends not become…

“I didn’t ask you to set them up,” Alex finishes.

“And I didn’t,” Nessa responds. “That was there, waiting to happen.”

“No it wasn’t.” Alex can’t hold back the accusing tone. She bites the inside of her cheek. It isn’t Nessa’s fault and she isn’t quite sure why the thought of Kara with another woman bothers her so very much.

“I’m sorry,” Alex says, cutting Nessa off from what was almost certainly going to be a snotty retort. “I am just…surprised.”

The color rising on Nessa’s cheeks retreats as she too appears to check her temper.

“I didn’t realize it would be a surprise. I should have mentioned it.”

Alex can only wave a hand at that. Maybe, maybe not. Truthfully it’s none of her business. If Kara’s happy why should Alex get involved? It’s not like Kara tried to keep it a secret.

“It’s a big day,” Alex says. “The asteroid belt is approaching and logging the coordinates to navigate it safely will take hours.”

From another monitor, Brainy glances up, walking briskly.

“Captain, an asteroid belt has just come into view on our radar. We need to decide whether to navigate through or around. From initial projections –”

“It’s too big to go around,” Alex interrupts. “Through. Get started on the calculations now.”

The alien nods and pivots sharply on his heel. The window outside is calm and dark, no sign of the storm to come.

“How did you…?” Nessa asks.

“It, uh, was in one of the reports. Long-range radar thingie,” Alex lies. “Look why don’t you take a break. There won’t be much going on except differential equations to navigate this thing.”

Without glancing Alex turns, hoping Nessa has the good sense to walk away and not press her luck. After a few seconds soft footsteps indicate her retreat. Alex breathes a sigh of relief. She needs to remember this is new for everyone else. She’s caught herself slipping up once or twice but so far Nessa is the only one to comment on it.

In general, knowing what’s to come has its benefits. She’s focused for the next challenge, knowing they can navigate it safely. If anything, the future beyond holds more fear. The true unknown.

There’s a focused air to the entire bridge. Whatever system Nessa and Brainy put in motion seems to be working. Perhaps another nap would not be remiss.

Quietly, Alex slips to the edge of the space, skirting into a utility closet that will allow her to exit the bridge discretely. The bed still feels warm as Alex slips beneath the covers, remembering this time to set the alarm so as not to miss too much of the day’s activities.

All seems tense but under control when Alex re-enters the bridge at 1500 hours. Nessa smirks but Alex takes care to avoid any acknowledgement. She won’t give her the satisfaction. Besides, she will get a full day of work in. As other wind down and take leave of the shift, Alex reviews the summaries left from the morning, noting follow-up for the couple decisions that remain.

Not bad. She’s here and for the first time, able to really take stock of what’s going on. Idly, Alex flips through the ship’s reports. Engine – good, water – good, food – well, in the works, fuel levels – good. She tries to keep her eyes off the dark sky, but it’s hard to forget the image of the giant rocks careening past. Butterflies flutter deep in Alex’s gut.

It’s stupid she knows. They already make it through safely. Brainy’s calculations are spot on, even if there are one or two rocks that come close. There is no reason to be nervous.

_Except for whatever comes next_. Fair. Perhaps some time in the gym will steady her nerves. Nessa watches Alex exit but at least she doesn’t follow.

A bout of boxing does the trick. Alex’s limbs have a pleasantly heavy weight to them she’s been missing. A good kind of tired and focused. Perfect for the long night ahead. The beginnings of the asteroid belt are just coming into view, like grey clouds on the horizon, not ominous from a distance but one can imagine a bit more terrifying in the eye of the storm.

The butterflies which had quieted seem to stir, Alex’s stomach flipping anxiously.

“Everyone, you can have the night off,” Alex calls. “I’ll keep watch.” The three night shift agents exchange glances but don’t argue. Alex isn’t sure why she’s sending them away. The time alone perhaps, or maybe to appreciate the full beauty of the show they are about to see.

Alone Alex settles into the chair, allowing herself to slouch as she breathes in and out, watching the storm approach.


End file.
